Actors hungry for that Oscar prepared for hustling season last night by Spanx-ing up their bodies, saying goodbye to real food for a couple of months and gargling with lemon-infused hot water so their voices are moistened up enough for them to talk, talk and talk about how much they suffered while playing the role they should win all the awards for. Of course I’m not lumping Laurie Metcalf with those actors. She doesn’t have to do all that shit, because she’s Laurie Fucking Metcalf and if she wants respect, all she has to do is say, “I played Aunt Jackie in Roseanne.”
Awards season officially started last night with the opening of The Palm Springs International Film Festival, where Jessica Chastain (Chairman’s Awards), everyone involved with The Shape of Water (Vanguard Award), Allison Janney (Spotlight Award), Gary Oldman (Desert Palm Achievement Award, Actor), Mary J. Blige (Breakthrough Performance Award), Holly Hunter (Career Achievement Award), Timothée Chalamet (Rising Star Award), Willem Dafoe (Icon Award) and more were honored.
Laurie Metcalf was there to honor her Lady Bird co-star Saoirse Ronan with the Desert Palm Achievement Award, Actress. We already knew this, but Aunt Jackie is a saint. I mean, she showed up to an award show to give someone else a trophy instead of getting one. A 20-year-old model is probably trapped under a passed out Leonardo DiCaprio right now, because he fainted over the thought of that.
Not only did Laurie Metcalf show up to honor someone else, but she brought the glamour too by wearing what a 90s Taco Bell would wear if it was turned into a human and became the leader of a new age cult.
Here’s more from last night, and you can stop after Suzanne Somers, because the star power and glamour does downhill from there.
A couple of months ago, James Cameron opined that the most recent Patty Jenkins helmed blockbuster Wonder Woman, starring Gal Gadot, was a step back for women everywhere because Gal has nice tits. Recently, James was out promoting Avatar 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 8 (7 will go straight to streaming) and decided to show the world what a real feminist looks like and doubled down on his criticism of Patty’s “too hot for basement dwelling neckbeards to handle” film. Thankfully Lynda Carter, a true feminist icon, was there to titty slap James across the face.
So what if Wonder Woman isn’t really helping women in your mind, James Cameron. You know what is? Cold. Hard. MOOLAH!
Wonder Woman has raked in $816 million worldwide, and now it’s time to pony up the Benjis to keep that success rolling since, well, it was one of the few things anyone went and saw in theaters this summer. Gal Gadot is back for the sequel, and original Wonder Woman (and mail-order contacts maven of my childhood!) Lynda Carter has signed on. So it only makes sense to keep the sisterhood alive and well. Variety reports director Patty Jenkins has closed a deal to return for the sequel, which should come out sometime in December 2019.
Deets on the payday haven’t been released, but sources say it’s close to $8 million for Patty to write, produce, and direct Wonder Woman 2. If true, this gives her the biggest female director pay day in history. Let’s hear it for the boooooys….er – giiiiiiirls!
Patty will also reportedly get a big chunk of the film’s profits, which means that $8 million is really just a starting point. To put everything into perspective, Patty was reportedly paid $1 million for the first Wonder Woman. According to The Hollywood Reporter, sources claim the previous record holder was Nancy Meyers with somewhere in the neighborhood of $5 million at her peak.
I really hope Patty uses some of these dollars to get a Bentley with the license plate “FMNIZM.” And maybe also that she makes a point of parking it in grouchy old James Cameron’s parking spot at SoHo House or whatever lair he goes to when he needs to ruminate on single-handedly saving the female species. Girl power!
I’ll give em’ one thing, that’s a rad poster. San Diego Comic-Con happened. It should actually be called “San Diego Blockbuster Movie Tentpole Franchise Preview-Con” because it looks like actual comic books gave movie studios a whole bunch of material to work with and then left the building awhile ago. Do they even HAVE actual comics at SDCC? DC announced a whole mess of superhero movies coming down the pike (via Digital Spy). We’re talking YEARS of super-hero movies. And yet, still no Wonder Twins flick. For shame! Here’s the round-up. (For those of you who don’t care, I’m sure we’ll eventually have a non-geek post soon.) Continue reading
If you woke up on the floor this morning and figured that your Ambien did you something weird and caused you to sleep walk again, don’t think that. There’s a better explanation. The world tilted to the side from the monumental news that Chris Pine chopped off his locks and shaved his dome.