Category: #FreeElvis
Austin Butler Finally Acknowledged That Vanessa Hudgens Is The “Friend” Who Encouraged Him To Play Elvis
Mystery solved! Austin Butler has finally addressed the 350-pound Fat Elvis in the room and revealed the heretofore secret identity of the “friend” who told him, “You’ve got to play Elvis.” But not being one to give up a bit prematurely, even now that he’s halfway to the mountain top with a Best Actor nomination for Baz Lurhmann‘s Elvis, Austin can now let you in on a little secret. That “friend?” Well, it was his “partner at the time.” And that partner was… Well, gosh, it must have been Priscilla Presley, right? See, it’s confusing because Austin still won’t name Vanessa Hudgens, his former girlfriend of nine years, so we’re left to assume Austin is no longer Austin but is, instead, merely a vessel through which Elvis Presley will live on forever. Or at least until mid-March.
Austin Butler’s Singing Coach Explains Why The Anaheim Native Still Talks Like Elvis Presley
Elvis left the building for the last time way back in 1977 but nobody knew where he went until three years ago when he heard Baz Lurhman was making a biopic about him and crawled up Austin Butler’s ass for one last chance at fame and fortune. And as we heard in Austin’s Golden Globes acceptance speech for Elvis, he’s still posted up in there, pulling Austin’s levers like Ratatouille but from the inside. And I get it. I really do. In the afterlife, once you’ve found a warm, comfy celebrity ass to haunt, why would you waste your good spectral energy floating around drive-by-night Las Vegas wedding chapels waiting for Jennifer Lopez to roll through with one of her exes? It’s simply nonsustainable for a ghost as famous, and let’s be real, as vain, as Elvis. And according to Austin’s voice coach, Elvis may never leave.
Ben Affleck And Ana de Armas’ Easter Parade Included A White Gucci Hazmat-Looking Jumpsuit
It’s good to know that even in #theseuncertaintimes, some things remain constant. The sun still shines in L.A., and so it shines on Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas’ daily pap stroll. Over the weekend, BenAna hit the stroll as usual, but were not taking any chances with their health this time. On Friday, they took the dogs out for a coffee run and were both wearing face masks! Though they were unable to make their customary pit stop for a kiss, they proved their love by holding hands, even though it meant Ana had to hold a little bag of dog shit in the same hand she was holding her coffee and her dog Elvis’ leash. If that’s not true love, I don’t know what is. And in an even bigger gesture towards avoiding the plague, on Easter, Ana wore a Gucci Hazmat suit! Either that or she was dressed up as the Jiffy Lube Easter Bunny.