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The Cockroach Who Upstaged Rihanna At Last Night’s Met Gala!
At last night’s Met Gala tribute to Karl Lagerfeld, guests were probably heard screaming, “That shameless Marjorie Taylor Greene has struck again and crashed the Met Gala,” and “I didn’t know Harvey Weinstein was out of prison!” Because a roach crashed the Aquafresh Toothpaste-looking carpet. And yes, I expect to be hit with a defamation lawsuit from the roach community for comparing them to those two. But while everybody was waiting for Rihanna’s always-late ass to grace the Met Gala with her glamorous presence, a roach hit the scene and instantly became the belle of the Met Gala ball.
When the Met Gala carpet opened, and guests began arriving, RiRi was spotted barely arriving at her hotel to get ready. So reporters and photographers pulled out a few protein bars, blew up an air mattress to nap on, and brought out their copy of War and Peace because they knew it would be a while. Even Vogue’s live stream, which was waiting for RiRi to show up, admitted that they couldn’t wait anymore and gave up (although, if you watched that sad mess of a live stream, you know that the hosts gave up the second the cameras turned on). And well, one attention whore decided to take that opportunity to get some attention and cause some chaos. Behold the most exciting moment at last night’s Met Gala. You can practically hear Anna Wintour hissing since that roach was obviously the best-dressed of the night, and bitch wasn’t even dressed!
Not a cockroach arriving before Rihanna… I’m crying PLEASE IM BEGGING 😭pic.twitter.com/uZu7OLdTg5
— onna 🐝 (@onnaelise10) May 2, 2023
A cockroach slays on the Met Gala red carpet pic.twitter.com/eN2CdtGIIE
— Vulture (@vulture) May 2, 2023
If Pimp Mama Kris was there, she’d probably recognize a shameless attention whore when she saw one and immediately adopt them into the Koven. But before that roach was able to become Kockroachelle Kardashian, it was brutally murdered. My guess is that Rihanna heard that a certain trick showed her up on the carpet and made sure the bitch was taken care of before she arrived.
It is with deep sadness that we must report the #MetGala cockroach was stepped on. #RIP pic.twitter.com/cqtmfFNaKV
— Variety (@Variety) May 2, 2023
Rihanna eventually appeared in Valentino like a glamorous version of me lying in my sick bed, surrounded by crumpled-up tissues. Or, like The Patron Saint of Wedding Cake Frosting Flowers.
But nobody cared by the time Rihanna and A$AP Rocky arrived because everyone had their mourning veils on for the true star of the night. RIP, Met Gala Roach, your memory will forever live on in future Best Met Gala Guests ever lists, which you will be at the top of!
Pics: Twitter, INSTARImages