Beyond The Boring Ass Black Suit: Lil Nas X Served Silver Nalgas And Pedro Pascal Gave Us Leg At The Met Gala
Since the Met Gala’s theme this year was a tribute to Kunty Karl, who was the overlord of Chanel for decades, there were more pearl necklaces than a bukkake convention and enough lace to pull David’s Bridal out of bankruptcy. There was also a sea of basic black suits since many dudes just rolled out of bed and into a boring ensemble their assistant picked up for them the day before at Brooks Brothers. But not every dude showed up dressed like they were going to a funeral (which was fitting since the real star of the Met Gala was born and died last night).
Billy Porter is usually the Maestro of Over-The-Top Fashun Foolery at the Met Gala, but he sat out this year. But luckily, Lil Nas X grabbed Billy’s sparkly baton and moistened tips by doing himself up like Liberace’s answer to the Tin Man. And Pedro Pascal also gave everyone a case of the tingles by simply showing off his slutty daddy legs.
Last year, Twitter dragged the movie version of Dear Evan Hansen, and went in on how Ben Platt played a teenage boy who did NOT suffer from Benjamin Button syndrome even though he looked much older than high school age. At the time, Ben Platt responded to the hate, calling it “randos being jerks” on Twitter. And now, Ben reveals that the treatment actually ran him off Twitter, and he learned at that time that Twitter was actually very mean. WHAT!? Twitter is a cesspool of anonymous people making outrageously offensive remarks?! I am shocked! Next, you’ll tell me that when Elon Musk officially bought Twitter, the use of slurs jumped 500%! I will not believe you!
Awards season usually kicks off with a sloppy, boozy Golden Globes ceremony, but this year, the closest we got was a sloppy, blunted GG nominations announcement followed by some unpaid intern at the HFPA “live-tweeting” the results into a void. But ahead of tomorrow’s announcement of the Oscar nominations, things are looking up. Just not for perennial hopeful Amy Adams who was just nominated for two Razzie Awards for two separate roles this year. While The Golden Raspberry committee had to create an entirely new category devoted to Bruce Willis’ unprecedented EIGHT nominations in a single year, I still believe in Amy and want better for her, prompting me to write a simple invocation. So, please join me in prayer.
Dear Evan Hansen premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival earlier this month, and the reviews were mostly mixed. But since it came out today, more reviews have been released and most critics hate it as much as whoever did Ben Platt’s hair in the movie hates him (no, that’s not a wig). Dear Evan Hansen has been ripped a new one by film critics who called the movie one of the “worst movie musicals ever made” and described 27-year-old Ben Platt‘s performance as a teenager as an “obviously grown man just hunching his shoulders.” Not since Cats….
The Met Gala is usually Ladies Night plus Jared Leto as most of the men just throw on a tux and call it a day. But this year saw a lot more fellows willing to risk it all in the name of FASHION! Ok, maybe not risking it all, but at the very least, risking falling down the stairs ass-over-tea kettle like Jason Derulo by wearing a chunky shoe. Of course, you’re gonna have your showboats like Lil Nas X here who’s outfit included two separate reveals and enough tooch-booching to make even Tyra Banks scream “THIS IS TOO MUCH!”
The first trailer for the film adaptation of Dear Evan Hansen had barely hit the internet when people began roasting it like a marshmallow, mostly cracking jokes about how the film’s star, 27-year-old Ben Platt, looked more like he should be playing a grown man stressed out about missing a mortgage payment than a high school student. Ben Platt slapped back, saying that adult actors have been playing teens forever, and people need to get over it. So with that mindset, people should go into a viewing of the film and accept it for what it is based on the story and songs and production. And according to some recent reviews, those parts of the movie aren’t great either. Then again, some people that saw it don’t think it’s that bad.