Category: Karl Lagerfeld

Jameela Jamil Slammed The Attendees and Spectating Public Of The 2023 Met Gala For Their “Selective Cancel Culture”

May 3, 2023 / Posted by:

Jameela Jamil decried Vogue and The Met for choosing Karl Lagerfeld: A Line of Beauty as the Met Gala theme a few months ago, and though agreeing with the never-not-whining Jameela felt unnatural, she kind of did have a point. Karl was unapologetic over his thoughts about fat women, #metoo victims, gay adoption, and migrants any time he was on the record. He was a known kunt, and Jameela provided receipts in case anyone was unaware. And now that the 2023 Met has come and gone, Jameela still had a lot to say about those in attendance and the public’s tendency to have a selective memory and look the other way when pretty sparklies and elegant cat costumes come into play.

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Beyond The Boring Ass Black Suit: Lil Nas X Served Silver Nalgas And Pedro Pascal Gave Us Leg At The Met Gala

May 2, 2023 / Posted by:

Since the Met Gala’s theme this year was a tribute to Kunty Karl, who was the overlord of Chanel for decades, there were more pearl necklaces than a bukkake convention and enough lace to pull David’s Bridal out of bankruptcy. There was also a sea of basic black suits since many dudes just rolled out of bed and into a boring ensemble their assistant picked up for them the day before at Brooks Brothers. But not every dude showed up dressed like they were going to a funeral (which was fitting since the real star of the Met Gala was born and died last night).

Billy Porter is usually the Maestro of Over-The-Top Fashun Foolery at the Met Gala, but he sat out this year. But luckily, Lil Nas X grabbed Billy’s sparkly baton and moistened tips by doing himself up like Liberace’s answer to the Tin Man. And Pedro Pascal also gave everyone a case of the tingles by simply showing off his slutty daddy legs.

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Because Someone Had To, Doja Cat And Jared Leto Showed Up To The Met Gala As Choupette Lagerfeld

May 2, 2023 / Posted by:

Karl Lagerfeld’s pampered pussy Choupette Lagerfeld was, of course, invited to the Met Gala’s tribute to him. But like other A-listers such as Beyonce and Lady Gaga, Choupette decided to stay her ass at home instead of mingling with lessers. But of course, someone had to represent Choupette at the Met Gala. And Dominique is now a certified SLYCIC because in her post about Choupette turning down an invite to the Met Gala, she guessed that both Jared Leto and Doja Cat would show up in Choupette cosplay, and she was right! But since Jared Leto is a serious method thespian, I’m sure he got into character by lapping up milk and sniffing his own ass (although he’s always doing that).

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Open Post: Hosted By Karl Lagerfeld’s Cat, Choupette, Turning Down Her Invitation To Tonight’s Met Gala

May 1, 2023 / Posted by:

Tonight’s Met Gala theme, Karl Lagerfeld: A Line of Beauty, will surely bring a delightfully tacky coterie of black blazers, neckties, folding fans, powdered wig ponytails, and hater shades. But one refreshing element many were looking forward to was the late Karl’s beloved 12-year-old cat, Choupette Lagerfeld, accepting her invitation to the event and asshole-out strutting down the red carpet as the fashion community creams their tailored black suit pants. But, perhaps Choupette was thoroughly put off from public life after recently being cradled in an awkward football hold by Naomi Campbell in Vogue with the looming threat of being whipped at an assistant at any second; because Choupette’s Instagram account just posted that she’ll be sitting out the Met tonight.

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Open Post: Hosted By Karl Lagerfeld’s Cat, Choupette, Posing In Vogue With Naomi Campbell

April 12, 2023 / Posted by:

If you’ve recently caught whiffs of singed weave and burnt silicone and heard a thunderous, demonic voice groaning in anguish, it’s because Kris Jenner–whose kash kows probably weren’t included on the Met Gala guest list this year–just learned that the late Karl Lagerfeld’s beloved cat, Choupette Lagerfeld, did score an invite! The 12-year-old blue-cream tortie Birman breed cat is living her best life in the spotlight lately because the Met’s theme this year is “Karl Lagerfeld: A Line Of Beauty.” The pricey pussy was also photographed with Naomi Cambell for a Kunty Karl tribute section in Vogue!

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Apple Martin Made Her Debut As A “Chanel Girl” At Paris Fashion Week

January 24, 2023 / Posted by:

In the year of our Lord 2008, the late Karl Lagerfeld met 4-year-old Apple Martin, the blessed daughter of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin. At that meeting, the prophet Karl declared that, one day, the baby Apple would grow up to be a Chanel girl. Yesterday, Karl’s prediction came true. People reports that 18-year-old Apple made her Paris Fashion Week debut in head-to-toe Chanel, sitting front row of the fashion house’s haute couture show. Somewhere, deep in the rankest depths of hell, Karl weeps. “It came true! It came true!” His moment of triumph is interrupted by a smack in the head by Satan himself: “Quit crying and get back to work, bitch! This lap ain’t gonna dance on itself…”

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