Category: Karl Lagerfeld

Apple Martin Made Her Debut As A “Chanel Girl” At Paris Fashion Week

January 24, 2023 / Posted by:

In the year of our Lord 2008, the late Karl Lagerfeld met 4-year-old Apple Martin, the blessed daughter of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin. At that meeting, the prophet Karl declared that, one day, the baby Apple would grow up to be a Chanel girl. Yesterday, Karl’s prediction came true. People reports that 18-year-old Apple made her Paris Fashion Week debut in head-to-toe Chanel, sitting front row of the fashion house’s haute couture show. Somewhere, deep in the rankest depths of hell, Karl weeps. “It came true! It came true!” His moment of triumph is interrupted by a smack in the head by Satan himself: “Quit crying and get back to work, bitch! This lap ain’t gonna dance on itself…”

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Of Course Jated Leto Is Producing And Starring In A Karl Lagerfeld Biopic

October 6, 2022 / Posted by:

As if we haven’t suffered enough, Jared Leto, the man who puts the suffer and twat in insufferable twat, is going to be tormenting our eyes and ears by completing his transformation into Karl Lagerfeld right before our very eyes. Deadline reports that Jared is producing, and will of course star in, a biopic about Jameela Jamil’s least favorite dead fashion icon (to date.) This is obviously the role of a lifetime for Jared as it has everything he likes in a character — European accent of indeterminate origin, a live prop, clown suits, a fun wig, contempt for women and flat, dead eyes concealed behind silly novelty sunglasses! It’s perfect really. I just hope too many innocent pussies aren’t rubbed raw from Jared’s immersive” stroking methods. PETA needs to stay on his ass for the duration.

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Jameela Jamil Calls Out “Vogue” For Making Karl Lagerfeld The Theme Of Next Year’s Met Gala

October 4, 2022 / Posted by:

Jameela Jamil is calling out Vogue and the Metropolitan Museum of Art for choosing of Karl Lagerfeld as the theme of the 2023 Met Gala. Jameela points to his comments regarding Holocaust jokes and ethnic cleansing, fat-shaming, shaming of gay adoption, and dismissing sexual assault against women in fashion telling them to “join a nunnery.”

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The Theme For The 2023 Met Gala Is “Karl Lagerfeld: A Line Of Beauty”

September 30, 2022 / Posted by:

Without looking it up, I dare you to name what the theme of this year’s Met Gala was or what any celebrity other than Kim Kardashian was wearing. If you only remember Kim, you probably would have guessed that the theme was Believe it or Not: Desecration and Disrespect in #Thesetryingtimes, but it was actually Gilded Glamour. ‘Memba her? Kim’s Marilyn Monroe dress debacle was bad for America and even worse for Vogue the Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute. So for next year, Anna Wintour and Co. have taken steps to ensure that no such displays of fake-assery will distract from the theme for the 2023 Met Gala. Vogue reports that recently departed fashion giant Karl Lagerfeld will be honored at next year’s gala and the theme will be Keeping It Kunty: Fatties To The Back, alternately titled Karl Lagerfeld: A Line of Beauty, although I think we know which one he would prefer they use.

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Jameela Jamil Had Thoughts On Karl Lagerfeld’s Legacy

February 20, 2019 / Posted by:

Fashion legend and salty bitch Karl Lagerfeld died yesterday, and I think it may be the only time we ever see Anna Wintour shed a tear since she’s now the undisputed Queen B of fashion. Oh, wait. Choupette is still alive. Better luck next time, Anna. Most celebs did what celebs do best, and that’s to use a death to show off themselves rocking a certain lewk and casually mention how devastated they are in a mild tone-deaf caption – but not Jameela Jamil!

She used Karl’s death day to say she wouldn’t be wasting any minutes mourning someone who once called Adele fat and said Kim Kardashian only had herself to blame for her Parisian robbery. Cara Delevingne, a Chanel muse, then had to wade in and defend Kunty Karl.

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The Legendary Karl Lagerfeld Has Died

February 19, 2019 / Posted by:

There are some things we just know are going to stay on this earth forever, like silica packets, those little white tables that save a pizza from getting smushed in a box, Betty White, and up until this morning, Karl Lagerfeld. I can’t be the only one who thought that long after we all turn to dust, Karl will sashay across the land, slightly dropping his signature sunglasses, only to judge the hideous and drab post-apocalyptic landscape before him. But we were all wrong, because Karl died today in Paris at 85.

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