Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 7, 2019 / Posted by:

THIS!

When the organizer of any event is putting together the guest list and they don’t see Billy Porter’s name on it, they should consider canceling that bitch altogether, because Billy Porter is quickly proving that nobody can make a carpet explode in a tornado of glitter shards like him. He did it at the Oscars, and he did it again at the Met Gala last night. Bitch makes tricks prolapse left and right with his glamour. After his opening act, Lady Gaga, finished her 15-minute long strip show, Billy Porter was carried out in a velvet chaise by a harem of shirtless hot pieces, who are all Broadway dancers. After Geraldo Rivera did that failed Al Capone vault shit, Fox opened tombs in Egypt on live TV, and THIS is what we expected to fly out of there.

I’d like to think that Billy Porter just had this casual Sunday afternoon lounging look hanging in his closet, but believe it or not, it was custom made by The Blonds. Vogue says that Billy Porter was inspired by Diana Ross in Mahogany, Elizabeth Taylor in Cleopatra, Cher, and Pepper LaBeija.

Working with his stylist of one year Sam Ratelle, Porter landed on an interpretation of Ross’s Ancient Egypt–inspired look. He also cites additional references, such as Elizabeth Taylor in Cleopatra and Bob Mackie’s iconic costumes for Cher, while the Blonds designers Phillipe Blond and David Blond were inspired by ballroom fixture Pepper LaBeija.

Okay, I get all those references, but Billy is missing a very important one. I mean, I am 100% sure that this is pretty much what Tommy Cruise looks like when he’s carried into a Scientology service:

I pity the Vogue intern who had 60 seconds to fetch Anna Wintour a new wig or face death since I’m sure her Dutch Boy bob blew right off of her head as soon as Billy Porter spread those “Isis starring in a Vegas residency” wings. What’s only missing are school desks set up at the top of the stairs for most of those drab guests to sit at and get a firsthand lesson on what camp fucking is!

Pics: Wenn.com

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