Category: Cats

Open Post: Hosted By The Cat Who Destroyed A $27 Pizza

January 7, 2023 / Posted by:

There are two things most people can agree on: cats are cute, and pizza is great. But what happens when a cat and a pizza collide? The result is a viral video where a furry friend named Lucas obliterates America’s favorite bastardized Italian dish. To make matters worse, the pizza cost $27. I hope Lucas put in a replacement order on Uber Eats because IN THIS ECONOMY, we can’t afford to lose even one pizza!

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Cat Fight! Fur Flies As Choupette Lagerfeld, Olivia Benson And Nala Cat Vie For The Title Of Richest Cat In The World

January 5, 2023 / Posted by:

You know what, fuck Forbes and their ridiculous Richest Celebrities lists. Those chowderheads have gotten it so wrong so many times, they may as well pay Miss Cleo to pull their bullshit billionaire lists out of her ass. And she’s dead! That’s why, when it comes to rigorous accounting standards, fact-checking and journalistic excellence, one need look no further than the good folks over at AllAboutCats.com for all your celebrity wealth ranking needs. Not only do they make a clear distinction between the species, they actually seem to give a shit about which celebrity animals inherited their wealth, and which ones had to fight like cats and dogs and to earn their spot among the elites. Of course, some pups and pussies’ careers have unfairly benefited from their handlers’ renown, but in the dog-eat-dog business of show, pet show that is, nepetism can only get you so far.

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Open Post: Hosted By Anna, The Bra-Obsessed Cat

December 21, 2022 / Posted by:

Scary news out of California: there’s a cat burglar on the loose! The fugitive, a grey British shorthair, goes by the name Anna. Anna’s modus operandi is stealing all the bras. But Anna doesn’t see it as theft. She sees it as… re-gifting. She takes the bras from her humans’ bedrooms, and delivers it to them in other parts of the house. “Here, put this on. Your tits are down to your knees.”

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Taylor Swift Has Signed On With Searchlight Pictures To Write And Direct Her First Feature-Length Film

December 9, 2022 / Posted by:

Just a year after making her sure-to-be Oscar-nominated directorial debut with the 15-minute short film, All Too Well, which doubles as a music video for her two-time smash hit song of the same name, Variety reports that Taylor Swift is gearing up to wade into deeper water by directing a feature-length film of her own original script for Searchlight Pictures. Variety also reports that Taylor will be sharing her insights and wisdom as a director with fellow auteurs such as James Cameron, Ryan Coogler, and Francis Ford Coppola as part of their Directors on Directors series, featuring “conversations between directors of the biggest films of the year.” Safe to say that at this point in Taylor’s remarkable career, it’s not hyperbole to call her one of the world’s most talented, gifted, and virtuosic storytellers of her or any other generation when it comes to shameless self-promotion. Simply put — she’s the best to ever do it.

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Open Post: Hosted By Frederic The Extremely Particular Kitty

November 30, 2022 / Posted by:

BoingBoing reports that German cat photographer Nils Jacobi, aka @furryfritz, shared a disturbing TikTok of his ginger kitty, Frederic. In the video, poor Frederic stands in front of a bowl filled with tuna and looks up at his father expectantly as if to say, “Are you fuckin’ kidding me?” Sure, his bowl is full, but the tuna isn’t positioned properly! He can only eat it if it’s piled high! After eight truly excruciating seconds, neglectful Nils finally takes the hint, and fashions Frederic’s food into a pile with a spoon. Frederic immediately digs in, but he hasn’t forgotten his father’s failings. Especially after Nils added the shady caption: “Tell me your cat is spoiled without telling me your cat is spoiled.” Spoiled?! These are basic feline rights! Continue reading

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Open Post: Hosted By The Stowaway Cat Who Was Found By TSA

November 26, 2022 / Posted by:

With the holidays in full swing, it’s prime traveling season. Whether by plane, train, or automobile, people are packing the essentials for traveling to their families. Some pack gifts, some pack extra valium, and others inadvertently pack cats. This was stupidly the case last week when a cat named Smells (yes, Smells!) was found trapped inside luggage headed for Orlando, Florida. We are all aware that cats can squeeze into anything, but I would believe people are also aware that we shouldn’t stuff them into carry-on suitcases!

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