Category: Donald Trump

Prince Charles And Prince William Reportedly Ditched A Kiki With Donald Trump 

July 16, 2018 / Posted by:

As the Slovenian Mrs. Waterford that is Melania Trump wondered when it was a good time to bust out her escape plan by changing into a Corgi costume before humping Prince Philip’s horny ole’ leg so he can take her inside, her master Donald Trump bonded with THE QUEEN during their meeting about their love of not paying taxes and their little bitches (hers being Corgis, his being his sons). THE QUEEN had to deal with Trump herself, but sources tell The Times of London (via The Hill) that the next Kings of England, Prince Charles and Prince William, were supposed to make an appearance, but made like the hair that was on their head and said “fuck it” before quitting that shit.

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Billy Bush’s Wife Filed For Divorce

July 14, 2018 / Posted by:

Yammering pair of GAP jeans Billy Bush struck a blow for womankind when he only pretended to laugh at our future president’s comments about grabbing pussies without permission during an Access Hollywood bus jaunt over a decade ago. You see, he figured if he encouraged the lying bag of farts, the lying bag of farts would make with more of the creeper talk, ruining any future hopes of becoming POTUS! *crickets* Yeah, Billy Bush’s wife Sydney didn’t buy that either. TMZ reports that she’s filed for divorce, citing “irreconcilable differences.” That’s because you can’t write “I have a vagina, I listened to that tape, you do the math, Your Honor.” on the form.

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THE QUEEN Was Waiting Around For The Trumps To Arrive To Their First Meeting

July 13, 2018 / Posted by:

First dates are always like walking on eggshells: you best keep the conversation light, dress impeccably, and – above all – don’t keep your trick waiting on you to arrive at the restaurant. Well, Donald Trump must not have gotten that memo because on his first meeting with THE QUEEN today, some are saying QE2 was left waiting around for Donald and Melania Trump to stroll up to kiss the ring and curtsy. What’s next? Sleeveless dresses?! Continue reading

People Are PISSED George Lopez Pretended To Pee On Trump’s Walk Of Fame Star

July 12, 2018 / Posted by:

Much to the relief of Donald Trump, there’s a new pee pee tape floating around; alas, this one is kind of a snooze compared to his own offering of getting piddled on in Moscow to the soundtrack of Fiddler On The Roof. Allegedly. George Lopez, like much of the world-at-large, isn’t a huge fan of Trump, and decided to do something about it on Tuesday night. While he was wandering down the Hollywood Walk of Fame, George posted up by the Donald’s star and pretended to take a leak on it. Naturally, Trump stans across America really took that well. Continue reading

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Donald Trump Wants To Redesign Air Force One So It’s As American As Possible

July 12, 2018 / Posted by:

Here’s some Donald Trump news, but don’t worry: this is the least-worst Donald Trump news you can be getting. No one’s human rights are being taken away, so that automatically makes this top-5 in terms of best news stories about him.

CNN reports that Trump will likely make Americana a focus of the coming redesign of Air Force One. Trump is apparently sick of what he calls the “Jackie Kennedy color” of Air Force One. The John F. Kennedy administration is the last time Air Force One got a redesign. Trump wants to add red to the current blue and white design. They have a source who says the Donald “is deeply involved in the conversation about a redesign of the aircraft“.

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