Category: Shaquille O’Neal
Shaq Once Again Suggests The Earth Is Flat And Questions If It Even Spins
Here we go again! Back in 2017, Shaquille O’Neal, bravely came forward to wonder: Is the Earth the only non-spherical, flat planet in the observable universe? Definitely not. There are satellites, we’ve been up there (“No, we haven’t!” shouted Steph Curry). But Shaq is not convinced, and he also challenges whether or not the Earth is really spinning. Shaq wonders this because he’s never seen the lake he lives near “rotate to the left or right.” Not since Isaac Newton discovered gravity through an apple have we seen such insightful and important advances!
Shaquille O’Neal Says That His Daughters Can Stay At Home As Long As They Want But His Sons “Got To Go” By 18
Shaquille O’Neal is known for a lot of things: basketball skills, dynamic acting talent, and an ability to shill everything under the sun (Gold Bond, anyone?). But did you know The General’s second-in-command is also the proud father of six children? And as a father, Shaq has some strict rules when it comes to raising his kids. Namely, if you’re a boy, you’re out the door at 18!
Shaq Paid Off A Random Guy’s Engagement Ring At Zales
TMZ says that one lucky man at a Zales counter in Georgia got the surprise of his life when Shaquille O’Neil presented him with an engagement ring. No, the man didn’t end up living my gay fantasy of a rich athlete proposing marriage with an affordable diamond (I always lose jewelry), but this man did get the amazing gift of Shaq paying off the engagement ring he had on layaway for his fiancée.
BREAKING: Shaquille O’Neal Revealed His Real Hairline After Losing Bet To Dwayne Wade
Shaquille O’Neal was forced to grow out his natural hairline after losing a bet to Dwayne Wade. Shaq bet that the Milwaukee Bucks would bear the Miami Heat on Monday night, but, alas, the Heat won 105-89. And since money means nothing to uber-rich basketball stars, Dwayne chose the public humiliation of his good friend as payment. The big reveal occurred on Tuesday night’s pregame show for NBA on TNT.
Steph Curry Doesn’t Believe We’ve Actually Been To The Moon
Somebody needs to tell Steph Curry that repeated viewings of Space Jam does mean you’re a qualified space expert. It means you’re a qualified Space Jam expert, and those are two very different things. According to ESPN, Steph and fellow NBA persons Vince Carter and Kent Bazemore, don’t believe the moon landing ever happened. But Bugs Bunny dunking on Michael Jordan is totally believable.
The Trailer For Taraji P. Henson’s Gender-Flipped “What Men Want” Is Here
As promised, Hollywood has delivered a reboot of the 2000 Nancy Meyers film, What Women Want called What Men Want, and the first trailer was released today. If you’re into Taraji P. Henson in top-shelf power bitch business suits, you’re going to be all over this movie.
In the trailer, we learn that instead of advertising executive Mel Gibson creeping on women’s brains, it’s sports agent Taraji P. Henson using men’s thoughts against them in an attempt to break through the glass ceiling.
That image above is from right after Taraji’s character discovers what her brain can do. And honestly, that’s probably the same face I’d make if I had just discovered that I was now trapped in a mental prison that involved hearing the inner thoughts of the men around me. I live two doors down from a frat house, so my skull would basically be a never-ending nightmare box filled with inner-monologues about MMA, “smoking hot broads” and Jägermeister.
In What Women Want, Mel Gibson gained access to women’s minds by falling into the bathtub while holding a hairdryer. In What Men Want, Taraji’s magic happens after she meets with a psychic played by Erykah Badu, who offers her some jasmine tea with just a pinch of weed, peyote, and crack. Is Erykah even playing a character? That is kind of how she dresses in real life, and some of the shit she’s said recently definitely sounds like the work of drug tea. Why do I get the feeling that at least once, as she was pouring that tea, she looked at the cameras and said: “So, are you guys filming a movie?”
Pic: YouTube