Once upon a time, before Chris “The Worst of His Name” Pratt found Jesus and subsequently got so lost in his own sauce that he had the audacity to compare himself to him; he was married to and had a son with Anna Faris. But they ended up divorcing, both to eventually remarry. And these days, Chris has a habit of barfing out saccharine social media posts about his current wife, Katherine Schwarzenegger, so it was par for the course that he hunt-and-pecked out a Mother’s Day tribute calling her an amazing mom to their two daughters and stepmom to his son, Jack. Though Chris did include his mom and mother-in-law in the post as well, he didn’t mention Jack’s actual mom, Anna; and his comment section went wild with accusations that he had intentionally shaded her.
For many, Chris Pratt has firmly cemented himself as The Worst Chris™ (movie edition; Chris Brown exists) for a wide array of offenses like bastardizing our beloved childhood characters, being a member of an anti-LGBTQ church, thanking his wife, Katherine Schwarzenegger for their “healthy daughter” while also having a medically fragile son with his ex-wife Anna Faris, and railing against his “woke” critics. Though if you asked him, he’d still probably say it was only because he’s super vocal about loving him some Jesus. The never shutting up about that is undoubtedly part of it, and right on cue, he’s at it again by citing scripture and comparing his struggle with detractors to Jesus’.
Chris Pratt Says He Understands Why People Have So Many Opinions About Him Voicing Mario In “The Super Mario Brothers Movie”
Once again, Hollywood has decided to release its lucrative golden shower all over one of our beloved childhood memories; the Super Mario Bros. franchise. And while we all want to have high hopes for this latest attempt of tugging at our hearts and purse strings, there’s only one aspect that makes it hard to accept; Chris Pratt. He’s already made the eye-roll-inducing comment that his portrayal of Mario will elevate him to the Meryl Streep of voice actors, with many Mario fans ready to rip him to shreds
when if he fucks it up. Well, Chris already knew he was going to face backlash, and he honestly understands why people’s opinions about his portrayal are so strong.
There’s a reason they give you those cute little “I Voted” stickers at the polls, and it’s so you can show the world that you are an informed, responsible, civic-minded individual who has participated in the sacred act of democratic agency upon which our country was built (citation needed), without letting them know that you just copied your husband’s ballot at the 11th hour because you’re a lazy dum-dum who couldn’t get their shit together in time. Now, I don’t know if Katy Perry’s husband Orlando Bloom is the lazy dum-dum in their family or if Katy’s just an ambitious dum-dum. Because Katy got out and voted, but instead of posting a cute ‘lil selfie with her sticker, she took a selfie inside the voting booth that managed to show her entire ass, including who she voted for.
Bryce Dallas Howard Says She Was Paid “So Much Less” Than Chris Pratt For The “Jurassic World” Trilogy
In case we needed further proof that Hollywood is sick in the head, one the world’s highest ranking, red-headed nepotism babies, Bryce Dallas Howard, can’t even get a fair shake in this town. Bryce recently told Insider that she was paid “so much less than the reports even said,” than one of the world’s lowest ranking Chrises, her nepotism-by-way-of Jesus Jurassic World trilogy co-star Chris Pratt. And because the almighty dollar is mightier than the Almighty himself, Bryce made sure to praise Chris, as is presumably a contractual obligation each of Chris’ co-stars must adhere to, by saying he went to bat for her and “pushed for the actor to receive equal pay on other franchise opportunities that were not already contractually binding, such as spinoff video games and theme-park rides” after she told him the terms of the three-picture contract she signed in 2014.
Chris Pratt Triumphs In The Faces Of “Woke” Critics Who Gave His New Show “The Terminal List” A Low Rating On Rotten Tomatoes
The internet’s favorite Chris (/sarcasm), Chris Pratt has taken time out from his busy schedule of annoying everyone to star in Amazon Prime’s The Terminal List. It’s a hit with audiences but a misfire with critics. So naturally, Chris took to his Instagram to let all the “woke” critics know that as long as his show is a success with the people, that’s all he really cares about.