Category: Thank You For Being A Friend
Hard To Say Goodbye
I promise I won’t make this too long.
Thousands of years ago (aka 2008), my friend Akona introduced me to the magic that is Dlisted.com. As someone who loves pop culture and entertainment news, I did a deep dive. And once I finally regained consciousness from the beatdown of sarcasm and top-tier writing, I knew I was in love.
Scarlett Johansson Is Reportedly Pregnant And Is Due Soon
Marvel’s newest magnet for nerd money, Black Widow, is coming out this Friday, and so the promo train for it has been running, but the Black Widow of Black Widow has not been on it. Scarlett Johansson wasn’t at Black Widow’s premiere in London and she hasn’t been hawking it that much. I figured that’s because ScarJo heard Stephen Dorff say that she should be embarrassed to be a part of a movie that belongs in a trash can, and she’s been sitting in a dark corner in her house, hiding her shamed face in embarrassment. But strangely enough, that’s not why she’s been off the Black Widow promo stroll. Page Six says that ScarJo is laying low because she’s busy starring in the real-life reboot of A Tree Grows In Brooklyn called A Tree Grows In ScarJo. Sources say that ScarJo is pregnant with her and her husband Colin Jost’s first child together.
Meghan Markle and Jessica Mulroney Were Supposedly On The Outs Before Racism Controversy
Last week, everyone outside of “Toronto high society” (HA!) collectively asked “Who?” in response to the news that Jessica Mulroney, stylist/shoe heiress/wife to Ben Mulroney (entertainment news host and son of a former conservative Canadian Prime Minister), abused her white privilege and threatened Black social media influencer Sasha Exeter. All because Sasha posted a Black Lives Matter post that Jessica misinterpreted as a personal attack on her. The narcissistic white fragility… far too much. Continue reading
Reese Witherspoon, Kristen Bell, And Mark Ruffalo All Chimed In On Ellen’s Friendship With George W. Bush
Unsurprisingly, Ellen Degeneres’ recent defense of her friendship with former President George W. Bush elicited a wide variety of responses. Since she framed their friendship as something that “Will Give You Faith in America Again” instead of the perhaps more honest “I’ll be friends with whoever the fuck I want”, Ellen made it easy for people to side with her. Because who doesn’t want to make the crushing anxiety, anger, and dread of #thesetryingtimes just go away! Even for a minute. But these days, much as MAGA is an illusion, so is FIAA (Faith in America Again). Some of Ellen’s Celebrity Defenders (coming this Fall to Fox!) like Reese Witherspoon and Kristen Bell, caught shit for falling for Ellen’s Pollyanna line. Mark Ruffalo, on the other hand, said “kindness” can take a back seat until we get to the bottom of this alleged war crimes situation. It sounded more bad ass before he hulked of his jeans and was left wearing teeny tiny shredded daisy dukes.
Selena Gomez Got A Kidney From A Friend
At this particular moment in my life, the very best gift a friend could surprise me with would probably be a bottle of coyote pee (I got a raccoon problem). For Selena Gomez, the best gift she got from a friend recently was a new kidney. From her own body. Sorry, Taylor Swift. I know you like to act like the very best friend that ever lived, but a kidney transplant definitely beats out a t-shirt mention.
Mickey Rourke Is Not About Manny Pacquiao’s Anti-Gay Comments
Even though boxer Manny Pacquiao shat up a non-apology for saying that gays are “worse than animals,” he continued to double down on his comments by Instagramming Bible scriptures that say gay dudes getting caught doing gay sex should be murdered. While some of us patiently wait to hear the news that Manny P was caught tap-dancing in a men’s public bathroom somewhere, Loki’s human and champion boxer (Um, don’t give me that look, even if he used his wallet to win it, he still won it!) Mickey Rourke gave his thoughts about that shit. TMZ caught the Panty Creamer Hall of Famer outside of The Nice Guy in West Hollywood on Friday night and asked him about Manny P’s words. Mickey shat on Manny P’s comments and pretty much quoted notable philosopher Honey Boo Boo when he said he’s a little gay himself. (Cut to Little Gay from The Soup poking out of Mickey’s gorgeous wig while waving.)
Here’s what Mickey said about Manny’s comments while dressed like an extra fancy gay hair dresser from Wild Wild West times:
“I think they were wrong and out of place and I think that we all got to watch what we say. You know, that was from the Old Testament, he was quoting, so you got to give him a little bit of room. But I got a lot of gay friends. I’m a little bit gay myself.”
And to show he’s a “little gay,” Mickey kissed on another dude in front of the paps.
Manny P is probably not going to respond to Mickey, but I’d like to see him try to snatch the wig cemented onto the hot piece of salmon jerky’s head. It’s impossible. Mickey came prepared by using Gorilla Glue, Super Glue, Krazy Glue, Elmer’s Glue, four different rubber cement brands and chameleon saliva to keep his hot wig from leaving his head.
A high-powered winch, a crane clamp and a hungry eagle couldn’t yank off that wig. Mickey stays winning!
And here’s more of Mickey working that “butch Cinderella’s stepmother” lace front outside of The Nice Guy and at the premiere of Triple 9 with Norman Reedus.
