Well, it looks like Armie Hammer’s gig as a timeshare sales rep might not last long enough for him to find his picture on a little lunch room plaque that reads Timeshare Employee of the Month. Because Armie has left the Cayman Islands and returned to the United States. According to reports, he and his family landed stateside to get away from all the photographers and journalists who flooded the island in an attempt to get the scoop on Armie’s timeshare job. And now Armie is reportedly living in one of Robert Downey Jr.’s house.
Lots Of “Avengers” Rushed To Defend Chris Pratt’s Honor Against The Implication That He’s The Worst Chris
For several years, Chris Pratt has been included in what I’ll call the Four Chris Men of the Hunkpocalypse. Four hunky Chrises (Evans, Hemsworth, Pine, and Pratt) that all appear in superhero films and, let’s be honest, are kind of interchangeable. Except there was one Chris that the internet decided didn’t really fit in with the rest of the Chrises, and that was Chris Pratt. This was officially decided on Twitter over the weekend, after a “One’s Gotta Go” meme format featuring the Four Chrises went a little viral. What started as a light-hearted internet joke has turned into a full-blown, “Avengers, ASSEMBLE” situation. Tons of famous types have swooped in to rescue Chris Pratt from his online haters by swearing he’s a super-good guy worthy of the Four Chrises Club.
Well, there goes my future-hope of an Iron Man spin-off franchise called Iron Supplement-Poppin’ Grandpa. Although I should not be surprised. Robert Downey Jr. said several years ago that he wanted to quit playing the titular Iron Man before it got embarrassing, and that he didn’t want to “drop the ball,” so to speak. And he won’t, because there are no balls to hold anymore. Robert Downey Jr. has confirmed that his appearances as Iron Man are done.
Robert Downey Jr. went on The Joe Rogan Experience with the guy who used to make people drink donkey semen in the 90s and is now a millionaire opinion leader, and talked about doing blackface in the early 2000s. RDJ says that while he knows it was a messy move, his heart was in a good place and “ninety-percent” of his black friends said it was “great”.
I just hate it when wealth, fame, and nepotism are wasted on the bland and boring. Dakota Johnson recently celebrated her 30th birthday with a big party in Malibu over the weekend. If my mom and dad were fucking icons, and I was dating a rock/popstar, even if it was Chris Martin, I’d sure as hell be having a legendary party and the highlight wouldn’t be a birthday cake in the shape of my dog with a couple of sparklers sticking out of it. The highlight would be a mound of coke in the shape of my dog, from which my actual dog jumps out holding sparklers. What Malibu baker is going to say no to Don Johnson’s daughter?! But that’s not how Dakota rolls. According to People, Dakota’s party involved a lot of hugging and chatting with her boyfriend’s ex-wife Gwyneth Paltrow. And somebody invited Sean Penn. Yuck!
Variety has published a list of the top earning celebrities for 2019 and Martin Lawrence is sitting pretty at the big boys’ (and girls, and Tommy Girl’s) table. And no, I’m not talking about that Martin Lawrence, I’m talking about original recipe Martin Lawrence. Thanks to his Bad Boys For Life co-star Will Smith, Martin Fitzgerald Lawrence out-earned Academy Award nominees Jessica Chastain and Joaquin Phoenix. The three-time Kid’s Choice nominee was paid $6 million for reprising his role in the Bad Boys 3-sequel. I guess that creepy genie really can make wishes come true!