Category: Duchess Camilla

THE QUEEN Confirms That Her Wish Is For Duchess Camilla To Become Queen Consort When Prince Charles Becomes King

February 6, 2022 / Posted by:

The QUEEN has been the head of the United Kingdom since 1952 which is a pretty long time to be in charge of anything (I can’t even manage babysitting my mother’s cat for a few days without breaking down). Knowing that her reign will eventually come to an end, the QUEEN recently made an announcement about the future of the monarchy. THE QUEEN made it clear that her wish is for Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall to be given the title of Queen Consort when the time comes. A million Princess Diana stans have collapsed in shock. I didn’t know Her Majesty was also a stunt queen!

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THE QUEEN Missed Today’s Remembrance Day Ceremony Because She Messed Up Her Back

November 14, 2021 / Posted by:

THE QUEEN made her last public appearance on October 19, and since then, she’s mostly been laid up, dealing with health woes. She was supposed to be at today’s Remembrance Day ceremony in London, but at the last minute, Buckingham Palace announced that she sprained her back and had to bow out. THE QUEEN, who is 95, has already been dealing with the nasty pain in the neck that is Prince Andrew (“He didn’t mean that, my beloved golden child.” – THE QUEEN to Andrew, probably) and now she’s got to deal with a bad back.

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The Royals Attended The London Premiere of James Bond In “No Time To Die”

September 28, 2021 / Posted by:

You know the British Royal Family is pressed for some good PR because they have risked the very fabric of the monarchy by sending 4 of their highest ranking members to a movie premiere. And the movie is fucking cursed! I guess they’re running low on Egyptian antiquities to pilfer and instead decided to tempt the gods by sending Princes Charles and William, and Duchesses Camilla and Kate to go rub elbows with the Hollywood hoi polloi at the London premiere of No Time To Die, the James Bond movie that was supposed to have come out in 2019 and make Ana de Armas a star. And here we are, 2 years and 200 pap strolls later, and neither of those things has happened!

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A Royal Expert Thinks Prince Charles Will Allow Archie To Become A Prince So That He Can Make Duchess Camilla A Queen

June 25, 2021 / Posted by:

Last weekend The Mail on Sunday reported that Prince Charles had future King plans to change the Letters Patent rules from 1917 (historic royal legal mumbo jumbo) to streamline the Monarchy. This basically meant that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s kids, 2-year-old son Archie Harrison and 3-week-old daughter Lilibet Diana, wouldn’t become Prince Archie and Princess Lillibet even if they wanted to. Now royal historian Robert Lacey tells People that he doesn’t think Prince Charles will actually pull that shit because it’d be an unpopular move and also because he wants to upgrade Duchess Camilla’s title.  Continue reading

Helena Bonham Carter Says “The Crown” Should Stress To Viewers That It’s Fiction

December 1, 2020 / Posted by:

The Crown’s fact vs. fiction controversy continues. Since the fourth season premiered on Netflix, fans of the monarchy have voiced their fear that the show is damaging to the Royal Family’s reputation, which, as we all know, was previously impeccable. Critics include The Daily Mail, “sources” close to the Royals, and Britain’s Culture Secretary, Oliver Dowden. Oliver thinks Netflix should add a “this is a work of fiction” disclaimer before each episode. Now Helena Bonham Carter, who portrays Princess Margaret on the show, has added her two cents pence. She told the show’s official podcast that there was an important distinction between “our version”, and the “real version”.

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Prince Charles Got Coronavirus

March 25, 2020 / Posted by:

“You bloody motherfuckers, this is not the crown I wanted,” screamed Prince Charles to the sky.

Clarence House announced that the 71-year-old professional handshaker caught the current worst downside of the job: coronavirus. But they say he’s only got minor symptoms and is doing okay overall. 72-year-old Duchess Camilla tested negative, and they’re isolating from each other, so their usual game of Hide The Kotex is on hold for now.

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