Category: Royal Drama

Open Post: Hosted By The Giant Penis That Someone Mowed Into The Lawn Where A Coronation Party Is Set To Take Place

May 5, 2023 / Posted by:

We are literally just hours away from King Charles III’s Big Day, and many in Britain couldn’t be unhappier. But like it or not, King Chuck and his ride-or-die second wife, Queen Camilla, are preparing for all of their celebrations away from everyone not important enough to be there. So those poor sods are left to their own devices to celebrate in their own way. And in the town of Bath, a celebration was set to take place at the historic Royal Crescent this weekend. But now, with the addition of a giant dick mowed into the lawn, they better think of a way to remove it immediately.

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Meghan Markle’s Rep Denies She Leaked Her 2021 Letter To King Charles About Racism In The Royal Family

April 25, 2023 / Posted by:

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were at a Lakers game in Los Angeles last night (a little on that in a second), but the game she’s mainly been focused on is the one where she’s trying to clear her good name! And last week, royal reporters accused Meghan of leaking the news of a letter she sent to King Charles III in 2021 about the Racist Royal™ who asked what color Prince Archie’s skin color would be when he was still in his mother’s womb. Meghan’s rep has since denied she leaked the letter and in a PLOT TWIST, the Palace has backed her up.

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Prince Harry Spoke With Dr. Gabor Maté About His Family And How Psychedelics Are A Fundamental Part Of His Life

March 5, 2023 / Posted by:

Despite having left the royal family with the public’s goodwill mostly in his favor, Prince Harry seems absolutely determined to throw that in the trash alongside his crown. From documentaries to books about getting knocked out by Prince William (of all people). His most recent attempt at talking about his family and getting people to not pay attention to him and Meghan Markle was sitting down with controversial Dr. Gabor Maté. And they kindly gave us the pleasure of being able to watch the therapy session for only $33! Gotta pay for rent somehow now that they can’t hang out in Frogmore anymore.

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After King Charles’ Coronation, Camilla’s New Title Will Be QUEEN Camilla

February 27, 2023 / Posted by:

You ALL better bow down and get your curtsy’s correct because if not Queen Consort Camilla might take her scepter and knock you upside the head a few times. In May, once King Charles finally accepts the highest position at his company (aka The Windsor Family), his ride-or-die sidepiece wife will be Queen. When THE QUEEN died last year, and Prince Charles became King Charles, Camilla got the title of Queen Consort Camilla. But now it’s being reported that come May, Camilla won’t have that pesky “Consort” in her title anymore.

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Alan Cumming Returned His OBE To The Palace Because He Doesn’t Want To Be Associated With “The Toxicity Of Empire”

January 27, 2023 / Posted by:

That’s Plain Old Alan Cumming to you, pal! Don’t you dare call him Sir, Dame, Esquire, Baron, Earl, Marquis, Viscount, or Duke while that one is on the throne? Not that Alan’s newly shed designation as an Officer of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire, or OBE, entitled him to use any of those titles, but it’s the principle that counts. People reports that as a gift to himself of the occasion of his 58th birthday, Alan returned the title bestowed upon him by THE QUEEN in 2009 in recognition of his work as an actor and advocate for LGBTQ+ rights. Apparently, that OBE doesn’t hit the same when the figurehead of the British Empire is an absolute clown.

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Prince Harry Said He Cut Some King Charles And Prince William Stories From “Spare” Because They’d Never Forgive Him And It Would’ve Been 800 Pages Long

January 16, 2023 / Posted by:

Prince Harry’stell-all” book, Spare (seen here already half-price because all of the juicy bits were forcibly squeezed into our ear holes and eyeballs before the book even hit the shelves, probably), has already broken sales records and reportedly rankled Prince William and Kate Middleton to their emotionless cores. But, the sloppy-mouthed spare wants everyone to know that he didn’t actually tell it all and did exercise SOME discretion by leaving out a few tidbits–because the book would’ve been 800 pages long, and William and King Charles would’ve found those particular items unforgivable.

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