More Spiced Gin Punch For THE QUEEN: Prince Hot Ginge And Duchess Meghan Will Not Spend Christmas With Her
If you ask me, a funky good holiday time IS getting drunk on gin with THE QUEEN while cackling after Duchess Camilla opens up her gift from her “Secret Santa” and for the 14th year in a row finds a tampon with a picture of Prince Charles’ face glued onto the tip. But I guess Duchess Meghan can only take so much of Princess Michael of Kunt handing her an empty glass before saying, “Sorry, dear, I mistook you for the help again.” Because the Palace says that Duchess Meghan and Prince Hot Ginge have decided to spend Baby Master Archie’s first Christmas away from THE QUEEN’s annual holiday celebrations at Sandringham. Congratulations to them both for not having to look at Prince Andrew’s face during the holidays.
I’d like to believe that the royal family has a bet going on how many BREAKING TRADITION headlines that Meghan and PHG can conjure up in the span of one year. Well, congratulations to the member of the royal family who went with 3,498, because I believe that’s the number we’re almost at.
There’s A Drama-Free Reason For Why Duchess Meghan Didn’t Stand With Duchess Kate And The Queen At Sunday’s Remembrance Ceremony
Yesterday was Remembrance Sunday, or Armistice Day, in the UK. And on that day, the Royal Family participates in a solemn moment with everyone else at 11am. The picture you’re looking at above is from the Trooping the Color ceremony in June, when Duchess Meghan returned from maternity leave and stood with Duchess Kate, Duchess Camilla, The Queen, and everyone else of relative royal importance. Duchess Kate and Duchess Camilla got to stand with The Queen at the Remembrance Sunday ceremony, but Duchess Meghan was relegated to a lesser balcony. But! It’s not what you think. People magazine says this isn’t the real-life version of Picturegate.
Oscar-winning delight of an actress Olivia Colman went on Graham Norton’s show to promote the upcoming third season of Netflix’s The Crown. She’s taken over playing THE QUEEN from Claire Foy and Graham asked her if she’s ever hung out with any of the British royals for reals. Liv revealed that she’s kicked it with Prince William before. It sounds like it was a little strained, though, because William made out like he’d rather run a three-legged race with his bro Harry than binge-watch that bloody Crown show.
On Sunday, ITV dropped their documentary Harry & Meghan: An African Journey, which was about Prince Harry, Duchess Meghan, and Archie’s official royal tour of Africa. But what we’re hearing about most from it is that Harry and Meghan would love for the British press to – pardon my lower-class vernacular – fuck 100% off. Meghan let it be known that she wasn’t ok with the constant scrutiny and criticism, that she felt like they were “existing, not living,” and claimed that her British friend warned her not to marry Harry because the British press would eat her alive. Harry lamented that he doesn’t like seeing the press pick apart Meghan in the same way they came for his late mother, Princess Diana, and mentioned that he and Meghan would love to move somewhere like South Africa. He also let the confirmation cat out of the bag by saying his relationship with his brother wasn’t great at the moment. And now sources are saying that his brother and father are a little worried about him.
There’s enough rumors and talk about Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan to fill their own The Crown-style spin-off called Frogmore. Some of the rumors are bullshit, a lot of the talk is trash. But some of it is true, and the confirmation is coming from Prince Harry himself.
This week, a whole lot of kids had to go back to school, and that included Prince George, who probably couldn’t help but wonder if a sweetly-worded letter to Great-Granny might get him an extra month of summer vacation. Sadly, Great-Granny is busy with more pressing matters, so it’s back to school for him! And this time joining Prince George at Thomas’s Battersea for the first time is his little sister Princess Charlotte. Somewhere in the Good Morning America studio, a producer just stared daggers at Lara Spencer and mouthed the words, “Don’t you dare ask where their tutus are.”