Category: Prince William
King Charles Poses With His Family, Queen Camilla, And The Future Kings In A New Series Of Portraits
Hot on the heels of his big crowning ceremony and concert that brought out the biggest and brightest in reality tv show hosts, King Charles has released his official portraits. You can’t have layer after layer of heavy, shiny shit put onto you without having it photographed for posterity. One portrait is of the whole gang, the next has him with the final boss of side pieces, Queen Camilla, and the other features two famous guest stars, both of his sausage fingers, Prince William and Prince George. Sadly, the true star of the Coronation, Sir Karl Jenkins, is nowhere in any of these portraits.
King Charles III’s Big Day Featured Crowns, Joanna Lumley, And A Yawning Prince Louis
If you’re a Brit, then I’m sure your vocal cords are sore (and not in a sexy way) from loudly chanting that oath of allegiance to King Charles III on his Coronation Day. Or your vocal cords are sore from loudly snoring while sleeping through King Chuck’s Corny because you don’t give one shit about it. Whatever the case, King Charles and Queen Camilla’s bloomers filled with panty pudding royale today as they were crowned during the scaled-back three-day Coronation event that is costing British taxpayers ONLY $125 million. King Charles and Queen Camilla’s crowning ceremony happened at Westminster Abbey today and featured a spotlight-stealing cameo from little Prince Louis and a quick appearance by Prince Harry, whose ass is already on a plane back to California for his son Prince Archie’s fourth birthday.
Prince Harry Is Expected To Attend Both King Charles’ Coronation AND Archie’s Fourth Birthday Party
Even though Prince Harry and Meghan Markle hoped their family of four would be welcomed with open arms to take center balcony at King Charles III’s Coronation this weekend–complete with a Prince Archie birthday shoutout–after scoring a reluctant, indirect invite, either The Firm laughed in their faces, or Harry found out there won’t be a proper supply of Monica Gellar’s garage fridge-grade shrooms there to make it bearable enough to stay for all three days. As we already heard, Harry’s going to attend the ceremony solo, but it looks like he’s also now decided to only stay in the UK for 24 hours to make an appearance at the main event of his dad’s corny before returning home in time to be at Archie’s “low-key” birthday party.
Prince Harry Was Reportedly Disappointed That His Father King Charles Didn’t Directly Invite Him To The Coronation
On this new episode of What Did You Expect?, we learn that Prince Harry wasn’t directly invited to the coronation next month by King Charles himself but instead through a last-minute, third-party email that was probably just like, “Fine, you can come.” Despite Charles not reaching out with the invite himself, it’s rumored that the father and son have held some peace talks since Harry aired out the family’s dirty laundry in Spare.
Prince Harry And Meghan Markle Have Officially Been Invited To King Charles’ Coronation
People reports that, over the weekend, a spokesperson for Prince Harry and Meghan Markle told The Sunday Times, “The Duke has recently received an email correspondence from his Majesty’s office regarding the coronation.” Translation: after weeks of hemming and hawing, King Charles finally asked Harry and Meghan to come to his crowning ceremony in May. Via email. I’ll bet the couple’s invite was a “P.S.” at the bottom of their recent eviction notice. The other esteemed guests probably received solid gold invitations personally delivered by one of those silent, fuzzy-hat guards riding a horse and carriage.
Prince William Reportedly Backed King Charles’ Decision To Evict Prince Harry and Meghan Markle From Frogmore
The decision to kick Harry Windsor and Meghan Markle out of their former UK home base, Frogmore Cottage, and move Prince Andrew in, wasn’t just King Charles’ call, apparently. The Daily Beast’s sources claim that the decision was made “in partnership” with the next king Prince William. Well, Will needs some pepper with that salt because it sounds like he’s getting back at his brother for hanging him out to dry in Harry’s book Spare, the royal embodiment of Regina George’s “Burn Book.”