If you woke up this morning moaning, biting your pillow and holding onto your dream about being the vessel for Idris Elba‘s future children, your psychic antennas were probably tuned to the fact that the “other” James Bond, Daniel Craig, and his wife Rachel Weisz have just announced that she has given birth to a baby girl.
The Hollywood Reporter says that producers of James Bond 25 announced today on Twitter that Danny Boyle is longer going to direct James Bond 25, which is supposed to be Daniel Craig’s last Bond movie. Danny is leaving due to “creative differences.”
Michael G. Wilson, Barbara Broccoli and Daniel Craig today announced that due to creative differences Danny Boyle has decided to no longer direct Bond 25. pic.twitter.com/0Thl116eAd
— James Bond (@007) August 21, 2018
It’s either fitting, or ironic, that the 007 logo sort of looks like a hand pointing, as if to say, “There’s the door, asshole.”
Danny is a big fan of the Bond films, and even featured Daniel Craig’s Bond in the opening ceremony for the 2012 London Olympics (which he directed). Danny’s frequent collaborative screenwriter John Hodge was reportedly working on a script for the next Bond movie based on an idea by Danny. Not to mention that Danny was reportedly MGM’s first choice to direct the film. Sam Mendes had directed the previous two Bond films, Skyfall and Spectre. Production on James Bond 25 is set to begin in December, so there’s still some time to find a replacement.
As for what exactly those creative differences are, it’s not known. Variety says that Danny was in the early stages of casting the new Bond girl and villain when the decision was made that he’d leave the production. Maybe they had creative differences over the Bond girl. Danny was reportedly working on updating the franchise to reflect the #MeToo era, and I can maybe see a disagreement happening there. Like between Danny and an older 007 traditionalist who tries to argue that #MeToo in James Bond’s world means a second Bond girl enters the bedroom and asks “Me too?” before dropping her clothes.
Gird your loins: Idris Elba may soon be making your butthole quiver while wearing a perfectly-pressed suit and shooting bad guys as the one and only James Bond 007. Sorry Harry Styles, but honestly Bond doesn’t wear any floral-printed suits so he’d probably hate it anyway.
In a move that everyone but a recently-conceived fetus saw coming, it’s been officially officially confirmed that Daniel Craig is returning to play James Bond for the fifth time in the next Bond movie. Daniel Craig sort of confirmed the news himself last August after hinting at it for months. Stay strong, Tom Hiddleston, I’m sure there’s only a couple more official confirmations to go.
The New York Times recently did an interview in the Manhattan home of Rachel Weisz and Daniel Craig, and at the beginning of the interview they got a big surprise when she lifted up her shirt to show that the glow in her face was due to a Bond Jr. in her uterus.
[She] pulls up the loose gray sweater she’s wearing to reveal her secret. “I’ll be showing soon,” she says, with a radiant smile. “Daniel and I are so happy. We’re going to have a little human. We can’t wait to meet him or her. It’s all such a mystery.”
Rachel doesn’t say how far along she is, just that she’ll be showing soon. That picture of her and Daniel was taken earlier this month. Rachel is 48, Daniel is 50.I’ve known stress, but I’ve never been an almost-fifty mom/over-fifty dad to a paint-whipping, Wiggles screaming toddler before.
This will be Rachel and Daniel’s first kid (they’ve been together for almost eight years and married for almost seven). Rachel has an 11-year-old son named Henry with Darren Aronofsky. Daniel has a 25-year-old daughter named Ella with Fiona Loudon. That kind of sucks for that baby. Which one of its siblings will sneakily buy it booze when it turns 16? Henry will be almost 30 by then, and probably out of the house. Whereas it can definitely count older sister Ella out. She’ll be 41 by then, and that’s prime “Alcohol?!? I’m going to call your parents” age.
Here you go, Tom Hiddleston – it’s my treat to you: the perfect picture to print out and tape to your mirror if you’re the type who likes to shout out their emotions at physical symbols of their sadness. Well, you know, when you’re done screaming at that cursed I Heart TS tank top, of course.