Category: Prince Charles

King Charles III Will Be Crowned On June 3, 2023

October 6, 2022 / Posted by:

It’s happening, whether we like it or not. Bloomberg reports that King Charles III’s coronation ceremony is set to take place on June 3, 2023. This is exactly 70 years (and one day) after THE QUEEN was crowned on June 2, 1953. Queen Elizabeth was 26 when she took the throne. By next June, Charles will be 74, making him the oldest person to be crowned king in British history. So the phrase “Long live The King!” is, well, optimistic. Continue reading

The Palace Is Reportedly Nervous About The Upcoming Season Of “The Crown”

September 27, 2022 / Posted by:

The season five premiere of Netflix’s The Crown is lurking just around the corner (November 9) ready to pop out and scream “OOGITY BOOGITY” at Britain’s new King Charles III which is just wrong given his age and general condition. He can barely tolerate holding a leaky fountain pen without screaming like a little bitch, so imagine what it’s going to be like for him to turn on the telly and see Dominic West’s weathered mug reminding the world that despite the fancy gold hat, he’s just a dude who got caught cheating on his wife. According to Salon, The Firm is nervous that The Crown will be focused on the interviews Charles and Princess Diana gave during that time, instead of on THE QUEEN who most likely spent the greater part of the 1980s and 90s tinkering with THE QUEEN-BOT she sent out to smile and wave while she hid out in the stables waiting for it all blow over.

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Buckingham Palace Announces That THE QUEEN’S Doctors Are “Concerned For Her Health,” And Members Of The Royal Family Are On Their Way To Be With Her (UPDATE)

September 8, 2022 / Posted by:

Buckingham Palace announced that THE QUEEN, Britain’s longest-reigning monarch, has died at 96.

Here’s the original post:

Buckingham Palace announced this morning that THE QUEEN is currently under medical supervision at Balmoral estate in Scotland. THE QUEEN is 96 and she’s become a part-time monarch because of her health woes and has had to miss events. So this news seemed serious but not surprising. But then we heard that her family, including her children and grandchildren, are either with her at Balmoral or on their way. So now it seems like things are reaching Operation London Bridge-levels of serious.

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Meghan Markle Talked To The Cut About Palm Trees, Her Instagram Return, And Prince Harry’s Relationship With Prince Charles

August 29, 2022 / Posted by:

The offices of every British tabloid are probably blasting The Benny Hill Show theme song as they all furiously type and run around without heads while trying to churn out a minimum of 10,000 hate articles on Meghan Markle’s new interview with The Cut. Meghan talked with Allison P. Davis for The Cut to promote her Spotify podcast Archetypes. And during their interview, Meghan did talk about her podcast a bit, but she also dragged The Firm’s archaic ways some more and briefly got into Prince Harry’s strained relationship with Prince Charles and how Harry told her that he “lost” his dad after leaving senior royal life Well, if Harry and Meghan were hoping to have another 15-minute visit with THE QUEEN when they drop into England next month, they better be prepared for her lady-in-waiting to tell them, “Oh, I’m sorry, THE QUEEN can’t make it, she had to wash her Corgi’s hair at the last minute.”

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The Upcoming Book About Meghan Markle And Prince Harry’s “Revenge” Claims Duchess Camilla Is The One Who Initiated “That Conversation” About Baby Archie

July 22, 2022 / Posted by:

The author of the EXPLOSIVE tell-all some-carefully-selected-click-baity-headlines book, Revenge: Meghan, Harry and the War Between the Windsors, thinks he’s cracked the scandal of the century wide open by revealing that Duchess Camilla is the an allegedly racist member of the Royal Family who expressed concerns that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s then unborn son Archie might not be able to pass a paper bag test. More specifically, the author, Tom Bower, reports that Camilla asked Harry “Wouldn’t it be funny if your child had ginger Afro hair?” and that Harry initially laughed but that “subsequently, Meghan’s reaction to that conversation turned Harry’s amusement into fury.

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Prince Charles Once Accepted A Briefcase Full Of Cash From A Qatari Politician

June 27, 2022 / Posted by:

If somebody offered me a briefcase full of cash, I’d likely shout the words, “Jackpot!” while little cartoon dollar signs replaced my eyeballs. That’s because I’ve never held more than 5 bills in my hand before. But, that also means I’m deeply skeptical of free money, and would likely turn the cash-filled briefcase down, for fear of some kind of fucked up Twilight Zone-ian twist of fate, or that the money was cursed, or that I was becoming the unwilling patsy in some kind of money laundering scheme. I guess being the first in line for the British throne blinds a person from those kind of suspicious cash-based realities. Because according to a report published by The Sunday Times, when Prince Charles was offered a briefcase full of cash from a Qatari politician, he just accepted it like it was a cream-covered scone at tea time.

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