Though Kim Kardashian recently said she’d eventually like to get married a fourth time, what she failed to mention is that she’s already in a hot and heavy committed relationship with leaving her stain of desperation and full-body makeup on the iconic fashions of beloved dead women. This time, Kim got her klaws on the Attallah Cross, a necklace Princess Diana famously wore to a charity gala in the 80s.
Nazis Uniforms And Racists And Puppy Filters, Oh My. Here’s What You Missed If You Missed “Volume I” Of “Harry & Meghan”
What? You didn’t have your alarm clock set for H8:AM GMT so you could live-tweet the Netflix debut of Volume I (the first three episodes) of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle‘s much-discussed six-part docuseries, Harry & Meghan, alongside Piers Fucking Morgan? No? Did you have something better to do? Well I did. Had something better to do, that is. But right after the elective, “all-natural” root canal appointment I booked with a “primitive dentist” I found on Craigslist, I fell/purposely walked into an open sewer and was, most, unfortunately, unable to participate. But I couldn’t miss out on hearing all the juicy details contained within Meghan and Harry’s “first-hand account” of “their story,” even if I wanted to. And I did. Want to miss out, that is. Alas, knowing more about the lady from Suits and that prince she married than I do about my own family is now “my story” to tell. And rest assured, it will be, to borrow a critique from Piers, a “nauseatingly self-serving narcissistic rehashed whine-a-thon.” I guarantee it.
The fifth season of The Crown premieres November 4, and everyone and their QUEEN-lovin’ grandmum is in a tizzy. First, we heard that the Royals are nervous about the show covering all their 90s scandals, namely everything Princess Diana-related. And maybe they’re right to worry, cuz yesterday it was revealed that the show will cover King Charles and Queen Consort Camilla’s Tampongate. Yesterday also brought us an open letter to The Times UK, courtesy of an absolutely fucking pissed-off Dame Judi Dench. She calls the show “cruelly unjust,” and says she supports the campaign to add disclaimers about the show being fictional. Well, today, the trailer for Season 5 finally dropped, and there ain’t no stinking disclaimer. Watch out, Netflix, Judi’s comin’ for ya!
The fifth season of The Crown premieres November 9, and the Royals aren’t the only ones with their fancy knickers in a twist. Deadline reports that the show’s creatives are “on edge” about having to film Princess Diana’s death in Paris. At first I thought, “Shit, these guys really left it ’til the last minute!” But, nope. The scene is actually being filmed for the show’s sixth season. Creator Peter Morgan has confirmed the crash itself won’t be filmed, but the paparazzi car chase and immediate aftermath will. Ironically, one of their concerns is that real life paps will snap a picture of production recreating Di’s death and “create uproar in royal circles.” Everyone behind the scenes wants to handle the scene extra-sensitively, especially with the recent passing of THE QUEEN. Well, if they do fuck it up, big whoop. It’s not like the real-life Royals handled Diana’s death any better. Continue reading
Spencer took home zero awards at last night’s Oscars, but over at the annual Golden Raspberry Awards, Princess Diana was a big winner. Just not for the reasons most Diana fans would appreciate. Or fans of musical theater. Or the kind of people who can celebrate a good mess-watch. Because Netflix’s Diana: The Musical swept this year’s show. And here I was thinking Bruce Willis was going to be the belle of the ball!
THE QUEEN Confirms That Her Wish Is For Duchess Camilla To Become Queen Consort When Prince Charles Becomes King
The QUEEN has been the head of the United Kingdom since 1952 which is a pretty long time to be in charge of anything (I can’t even manage babysitting my mother’s cat for a few days without breaking down). Knowing that her reign will eventually come to an end, the QUEEN recently made an announcement about the future of the monarchy. THE QUEEN made it clear that her wish is for Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall to be given the title of Queen Consort when the time comes. A million Princess Diana stans have collapsed in shock. I didn’t know Her Majesty was also a stunt queen!