When Queen Elizabeth II passed on to the big throne in the sky, her son, King Charles III had to figure out what to do with all the people who suckled from her deflated royal teets while she wore the crown- starting with Little Saint James’ former resident Prince Andrew, who Charles slashed his royal allowance and is currently trying to evict from the Royal Lodge. But now, Charles has bigger fish and chips to fry since THE QUEEN’s former dresser Angela Kelly– who’s supposedly salty over being pushed aside by the royal family – has seemingly been shading the King in some cryptic posts and others not so cryptic. And even though Charles is no stranger to having disses thrown his way, Angela isn’t one to fuck with since she’s known for having an arsenal of THE QUEN’s secrets.
Meghan Markle’s Rep Denies She Leaked Her 2021 Letter To King Charles About Racism In The Royal Family
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were at a Lakers game in Los Angeles last night (a little on that in a second), but the game she’s mainly been focused on is the one where she’s trying to clear her good name! And last week, royal reporters accused Meghan of leaking the news of a letter she sent to King Charles III in 2021 about the Racist Royal™ who asked what color Prince Archie’s skin color would be when he was still in his mother’s womb. Meghan’s rep has since denied she leaked the letter and in a PLOT TWIST, the Palace has backed her up.
Prince Andrew Joined The Royal Family On Easter Sunday, But Sources Say “There’s No Way Back Into Public Life For” Him
Prince Andrew has reportedly been kicked out of Buckingham Palace and cut out of THE QUEEN’s Estate, so obviously, he’s been forever banished from the Royal Family because he hung out with a pedophile predator and because of Virginia Giuffre’s lawsuit against him for allegedly sexually abusing her when she was a minor (a lawsuit he settled last year)! And by “forever banished,” I mean the opposite. Because on Easter Sunday, Epstein’s BFF joined the Royal Family at Easter Mattins Service at Windsor Castle. Before the service, Andrew hit the pap stroll with King Charles and Queen Camilla. Andrew’s daughters, Princess Beatrice, and Princess Eugenie, were also at the service. But sources say that just because Charles let Andrew walk with him in front of photographers doesn’t mean that Andrew has been welcomed back into “public life.” But yet, here he is, showing his insufferable mug to us, the public!
Tom Cruise, the King, Queen, Prince, Princess, Duke, Duchess, and (insert every other royal title here) of Scientology, apparently was “secret friends” with THE QUEEN of England before her death at 96 in September. Not only does he play a special agent with super stealth skills in the Mission: Impossible franchise, but apparently, he treats his special friendships with a lot of secrecy as well. Sources claim Tommy and THE QUEEN (not to be confused with Tommy and THE QUEEF, aka Tom Cruise and David Miscavige) became friends over the summer. Queen Elizabeth’s husband, Prince Philip, died last year, so shameless Tommy was probably trying to woo THE QUEEN into signing on to be his next wife!
It’s been three weeks since THE QUEEN passed away at age 96, and the cause of death is finally in: she ODed on tea and crumpets! Just joshin’, Lizzie actually passed away due to “old age,” same as her husband Prince Philip. People reports that the National Records of Scotland published this extremely shocking info in a document released today. Official time of death? 3:10 pm. So, if you popped a baby outta your cooch on September 8 at 3:11 PM (Greenwich Mean Time), congratulations! There’s a very good chance you’ll be raising a reincarnated royal.
THE QUEEN died this week and with her departure, she left behind a few things including an old teabag. No, not Prince Andrew. I said teabag, not scumbag. But if you want to own a piece of teabag history and have an eye for bargains, your chance to own THE QUEEN’S alleged teabag is just an eBay click away! For only $12,000 you can own THE QUEEN’s very own alleged tea bag. It would surely make a delightful conversation piece for any fancy dinner party.