Category: Kate Middleton

Prince William And Princess Kate Sat Courtside At A Boston Celtics Game Last Night, And They Were Booed

December 1, 2022 / Posted by:

Prince William and Princess Kate’s Caribbean tour earlier this year went over about as well as a Black woman who isn’t a first-generation African immigrant existing in Lady Hussey’s presence–which is not well at all–so as we know, they decided to take a working trip to somewhere known to be FAR more friendly and welcoming: Boston. Kate and William are in the city to attend the Earthshot Prize Awards and decided to go on a field trip to a Boston Celtics game where they sat courtside; because where else can you see Bostonians at their very dignified best than at one of their professional teams’ sporting events? But some Bostonians weren’t amused and welcomed the royals with boos and chants of “USA!”

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King Charles Hosted His First State Banquet As King

November 23, 2022 / Posted by:

Last night was King Charles’ very first state banquet as monarch. The dinner was held for South Africa’s visiting president, Cyril Ramaphosa, who was originally scheduled to make the trip in September. THE QUEEN’S death forced him to reschedule. This banquet was a very big deal (for people who actually give a rat’s ass about the monarchy), so the Royals decided to to bust out the big guns. Their version of “the big guns” is, of course, sparkly tiaras. Queen Consort Camilla wore THE QUEEN’S Belgian Sapphire Tiara and Kate Middleton wore Queen Mary’s Lover’s Knot tiara. The King didn’t get to wear shit. He kept his dome diamond, sapphire, and hair-free. Continue reading

A Royal Expert Claims That Meghan Markle Asked Princess Kate To Be On Her Podcast

November 4, 2022 / Posted by:

There’s a rumor that Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle (pictured above approximately 4 billion years ago when they were still pretending to like each other) might reunite for an episode of Meghan’s podcast Archetypes. Express reports that Neil Sean, a “royal expert” (aren’t we all, at this point?) claimed Meghan asked Kate to guest on the podcast during her recent visit to the UK. I can see it now! “Today’s archetype is… evil, racist royals. What do you think about that particular archetype, Duchess Kate?”

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Princess Kate Got Heckled In Northern Ireland

October 7, 2022 / Posted by:

Yesterday Kate Middleton and Prince William visited Northern Ireland to do royal shit (charity, trip to the bar, charity). Sounds fun! Except for the fact that many Irish people loathe the Royals with every fiber of their being. See: the Irish soccer fans who chanted “Lizzie’s in a box!” hours after THE QUEEN died. So it’s not surprising that Kate encountered some Troubles during a walkabout outside Carrickfergus Castle. People reports that while Kate was greeting people in the crowd, one woman took her hand and said, “Nice to meet you, but it would be better if it were when you were in your own country.” HA! All Kate could do was awkwardly laugh, cuz when ya burnt, ya burnt.

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After A 2021 Video Of Prince William Telling Off A Photographer Leaked, Kensington Palace Called It A Breach Of The Family’s Privacy

June 29, 2022 / Posted by:

Last week, a three-minute video of Prince William going off on a photographer was uploaded to YouTube. Apparently, the man behind the camera was trying to film William, Duchess Kate, and their kids while they were on a bike ride near their home in Sandringham, Norfolk. The video, which was shot in 2021, only shows William, but you can hear Kate off-screen. 40-year-old William is pissed, and accuses the photographer of stalking his family. There’s a lot of “How DARE you?!” and “you’re disgusting, you really are.” The photographer tries to play it off like running into the Royals was all a big coincidence, but the fact that he filmed and leaked their confrontation makes me think that Big Willy was right all along; bitch knew exactly what he was doing.

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Prince Louis Stole The Spotlight Again At THE QUEEN’s Platinum Jubilee Pageant

June 6, 2022 / Posted by:

Despite her recent health issues, THE QUEEN managed to make a very special balcony appearance at yesterday’s Platinum Jubilee Pageant. The crowd went wild, because, for them, THE QUEEN is Jennifer Aniston, The Rock, and all the Kardashians rolled into one. She’s a star! But guess who else is a star? Young ham-in-the-making, Prince Louis. And after getting a taste of fame for his Trooping the Colour hijinks, little Louis wasn’t about to let his great-grandmother hog the spotlight at her “pageant” (it was a parade). So he did what any 4-year-old would do at a Rainforest Cafe; he acted the fool.

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