Category: Kate Middleton

King Charles III’s Big Day Featured Crowns, Joanna Lumley, And A Yawning Prince Louis

May 6, 2023 / Posted by:

If you’re a Brit, then I’m sure your vocal cords are sore (and not in a sexy way) from loudly chanting that oath of allegiance to King Charles III on his Coronation Day. Or your vocal cords are sore from loudly snoring while sleeping through King Chuck’s Corny because you don’t give one shit about it. Whatever the case, King Charles and Queen Camilla’s bloomers filled with panty pudding royale today as they were crowned during the scaled-back three-day Coronation event that is costing British taxpayers ONLY $125 million. King Charles and Queen Camilla’s crowning ceremony happened at Westminster Abbey today and featured a spotlight-stealing cameo from little Prince Louis and a quick appearance by Prince Harry, whose ass is already on a plane back to California for his son Prince Archie’s fourth birthday.

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Prince Harry Said He Cut Some King Charles And Prince William Stories From “Spare” Because They’d Never Forgive Him And It Would’ve Been 800 Pages Long

January 16, 2023 / Posted by:

Prince Harry’stell-all” book, Spare (seen here already half-price because all of the juicy bits were forcibly squeezed into our ear holes and eyeballs before the book even hit the shelves, probably), has already broken sales records and reportedly rankled Prince William and Kate Middleton to their emotionless cores. But, the sloppy-mouthed spare wants everyone to know that he didn’t actually tell it all and did exercise SOME discretion by leaving out a few tidbits–because the book would’ve been 800 pages long, and William and King Charles would’ve found those particular items unforgivable.

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Prince William And Kate Middleton Are Reportedly “Very Upset” By Prince Harry’s Tell-All

January 7, 2023 / Posted by:

Ever since Prince Harry announced the release of Spare, the internet has been abuzz with excerpts from the tell-all book. From the tale of fisticuffs between the two princes to the origins of the infamous Nazi uniform to Harry dragging William for his hair loss, the book contains a seemingly never-ending stream of embarrassing stories designed to last a Queen’s lifetime. So, what do the Royals think of Harry’s collection of bedtime stories for unloved boys? They’re pissed! Obviously.

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Prince Harry Says That Prince William Physically Attacked Him And More From His Tell-All “Spare”

January 5, 2023 / Posted by:

If you had yourself a dysfunctional family holiday filled with drama, tussling, and messiness, just be a little grateful that your filthy laundry wasn’t aired beyond a ~cRyPTic~ Facebook post from your auntie. Because Prince Harry’s memoir, Spare, is out next week, so the promo tour for it has begun, and right now, The Firm is probably furiously trying to leak as many anti-Harry stories as possible as the Benny Hill theme song plays in their heads. In leaked excerpts from the book and promo interviews, Harry accuses Prince William of physically attacking him, says William and Kate Middleton co-signed his Nazi costume, calls William his “archnemesis,” and gets into the rumors that King Charles is not his biological father. Oh, and Harry and William’s nicknames for each other are “Harold” and “Willy.” I know, I buried the true lede!

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Kate Middleton Reportedly Wore £176,664 Worth Of New Clothes In 2022

December 29, 2022 / Posted by:

The Daily Mail decided to put their interns to work this holiday season and made them add up the total cost of all the looks that Kate Middleton, the Princess of Wales, wore this year. Now close your eyes and imagine what it would be like if you had a wardrobe worth over two hundred thousand dollars because that’s Couture Kate’s life on a daily basis. And apparently, she set a new record.

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Prince William Attended His Ex-Girlfriend’s Wedding Without Kate Middleton

December 19, 2022 / Posted by:

Over the weekend, Prince William attended his ex-girlfriend Rose Farquhar’s wedding without Kate Middleton. Now, this Rose was not the Rose who William denied cheating with back in 2019. That was a Rose by another name: Rose Hansbury, aka Kate’s married ex-best friend. No, newlywed Rose dated William back in 2000, when he was 18 years old. The Daily Mail says Rose was “the Prince’s first serious girlfriend,” and People quotes the 2011 book The Making of a Royal Romance by describing their relationship as “an innocent, tender romance.” Well, maybe not that innocent. Apparently, William and Rose were once caught canoodling in a field by a farmer. “Oy! Stop fuckin’ on me’ land, you little perv- OH. Your majesty! Carry on, then.”

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