Princess Eugenie has just earned her pick of tiaras for the next big royal public appearance (try to find one you can attach tasteful face mask straps to? We don’t know how long this thing is gonna go, Genie). Princess Eugenie and her husband of nearly two years, Jack Brooksbank, have given the royal family’s publicity department some easy to sell news in the form of a new future royal baby.
Just about the only member of the British royal family still untainted by scandal, Prince George, (Charlotte knows what she did) is celebrating his 7th birthday today. As per tradition, The Firm has released two new pictures of their Wholesome Employee of The Year via his mom and dad’s Instagram account. According to People, the camouflage t-shirt George is wearing in one of the pictures is a “nod” to his family’s “history of service in the armed forces,” noting that his Dad, Prince William, and his uncle, Prince Harry, both served as young men. That’s a lot to put on a 7-year-old kid who probably just likes the camo because it reminds him of boogers. Delicious, organic, sustainably harvested boogers.
After realizing that a big ass royal wedding was not possible during THESE TIMES, Princess Beatrice and her property developer fiance, Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi, had themselves a much, much smaller wedding in one of the smaller party rooms at the Pizza Express in Woking. No, but it was a pretty simple affair (for the royals) and now they’ve released pictures of Princess Bea’s socially distanced wedding including the one above of THE QUEEN thinking, “Let’s get this affair on, love, I’ve got work to do!”
Meghan Markle Filed Court Papers To Stop The Daily Mail From Publishing The Names Of Her Friends Who Spoke To People Magazine
Last year, five of Meghan Markle’s close friends anonymously came forward to “speak the truth” about their friend for a People magazine cover story. The truth being that Meghan is awesome. This was a couple months before Meghan gave birth, and the sources voiced their concerns about how the “global bullying” was affecting her and her unborn child. They also spilled pro-Meghan tea on her daily life, family drama, and what a selfless buddy she is.
Now The Daily Mail, the Snidely Whiplash of British tabloids, is threatening to release the friends’ names. In response, Meghan’s legal team has filed an application to stop them. Reminder that Meghan’s lawsuit against Associated Newspapers (the publisher of The Mail On Sunday and The Daily Mail), over a private letter between her and her father being published, is still ongoing.
When Prince Harry and Meghan Markle waved goodbye to their positions as senior royals back in January, they also said goodbye to their official fancy titles, their expensive cottage, and all those mandatory royal work trips to countries in Queen Elizabeth’s commonwealth. It also means no longer feeling super awkward in a country that was colonized by Britain, as a representative from the monarchy responsible for their colonization. Like their 2019 tour of Africa, which was no doubt fun, but also pretty weird considering Britain’s very racist history with that continent. There’s a reason why Zimbabwe pulled an “I don’t know her” in 1980 by changing their name from the colonizer’s Rhodesia. Harry and Meghan know colonization is a gross part of Britain’s history, and they’re hoping that one day some everyone can address that too.
If The Brady Bunch has taught me anything, it’s that there’s a Jan in every family. If you ask Meghan Markle, she might say she was the Royal Family’s Jan. Meghan recently revealed in her ongoing lawsuit with The Mail on Sunday that she believes the Royal Family never had her back, despite being married to a high-ranking royal like Prince Harry and having his kid.