Category: James Bond

A Bond Producer Says That The Next 007 Won’t Be A Youngin’

October 5, 2022 / Posted by:

I still don’t know why producers are calling the longstanding James Bond franchise “spy movies,” because clearly, he’s a vampire. Think about it; he glamours the hell out of women whose panties hit the floor as soon as he speaks. He’s been around since the sixties and still looks just as young as he did back then, AND he can change his appearance at will since multiple actors have played him. I think this is a missed opportunity for them to usher in Bond’s supernatural years after Daniel Craig‘s departure. But whatever direction they go in they want everyone to know they will not be using a younger actor because with the franchise’s history it just wouldn’t work.

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James Bond Producers Are Looking For The Next 007 And Need Someone Who Can Make A Ten-Year Commitment

September 22, 2022 / Posted by:

As 2021’s No Time To Die marks Daniel Craig’s exit as the latest iteration of lethal Lothario James Bond (“allegedly“) we can all prepare for another sexy brooding Englishman disarming bombs and unhooking bras in the name of THE QUEEN (though that may all change since she has gone to glory). But before any of that happens, the producers behind the exciting espionage life of Agent 007, Barbara Broccoli and Michael G. Wilson, want to make sure they take meticulous care in choosing the next actor for the role, since whoever steps into it will be on the hook for at least the next decade.

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The Royals Attended The London Premiere of James Bond In “No Time To Die”

September 28, 2021 / Posted by:

You know the British Royal Family is pressed for some good PR because they have risked the very fabric of the monarchy by sending 4 of their highest ranking members to a movie premiere. And the movie is fucking cursed! I guess they’re running low on Egyptian antiquities to pilfer and instead decided to tempt the gods by sending Princes Charles and William, and Duchesses Camilla and Kate to go rub elbows with the Hollywood hoi polloi at the London premiere of No Time To Die, the James Bond movie that was supposed to have come out in 2019 and make Ana de Armas a star. And here we are, 2 years and 200 pap strolls later, and neither of those things has happened!

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The Release Date For “No Time To Die” Will Probably Be Postponed Yet Again

January 12, 2021 / Posted by:

I don’t know if there’s ever been a movie in recent memory so woefully cursed as No Time To Die. Release dates have come and gone and come again. We already watched the 2nd trailer back in September 2020. Ben Affleck was preemptively banned from the red carpet in August. It’s been nearly a year since we tried listening to Billie Eilish’s theme song and decided it was meh.  Want to feel old? They found that toilet camera on the set way back in June. OF 2019! Now, because of COVID, Deadline reports that the release date for the 25th James Bond movie has pushed back once again. Instead of getting it as an Easter basket, it’s going to be presented as a Thanksgiving turkey.

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Gemma Arterton Says She Played A Bond Girl To Pay Off Her Student Loans

December 29, 2020 / Posted by:

There are many reasons why an actress might accept the role of a Bond Girl in a James Bond movie. Like the chance to wear a great bikini, or utter absolutely iconic nonsense like: “Doctor Jones, Christmas Jones.” But for Gemma Arterton, who played the too-punny-for-its-own-good Strawberry Fields in 2008’s Quantum of Solace, opposite Daniel Craig, it wasn’t for any of those reasons above. According to Gemma, she did it solely because she wanted a fat Bond movie check.

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There’s A Rumor That Tom Hardy Has Already Been Cast As The New James Bond

September 20, 2020 / Posted by:

The 25th Bond movie No Time To Die hasn’t come out yet (it’s supposed to come out on November 20 after its original release date was pushed due to coronavirus), but there’s already a claim as to which white guy with nice pecs will jump from burning buildings or swings from chandeliers, crashing through a plate-glass window without a scratch, and slip into Daniel Craig’s tuxedo to play the new James Bond. Well, there’s one claim that James Bond WILL be played by everyone’s favorite camwhore Tom Hardy. That sound you just heard was Hard Up To Play Bond team member Henry Cavill destroying his nerd machine in a fit of rage!

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