“You bloody motherfuckers, this is not the crown I wanted,” screamed Prince Charles to the sky.
Clarence House announced that the 71-year-old professional handshaker caught the current worst downside of the job: coronavirus. But they say he’s only got minor symptoms and is doing okay overall. 72-year-old Duchess Camilla tested negative, and they’re isolating from each other, so their usual game of Hide The Kotex is on hold for now.
Being shunned from professional royal life paid off for Prince Andrew (although, his system would probably shoo away COVID-19 since it’s too old for him), because Charles is the son of THE QUEEN who tested positive for corona. Here’s the statement from Clarence House:
The Prince of Wales has tested positive for Coronavirus. He has been displaying mild symptoms but otherwise remains in good health and has been working from home throughout the last few days as usual. The Duchess of Cornwall has also been tested but does not have the virus. In accordance with Government and medical advice, the Prince and the Duchess are now self-isolating at home in Scotland. The tests were carried out by the NHS in Aberdeenshire where they met the criteria required for testing.
It is not possible to ascertain from whom the Prince caught the virus owing to the high number of engagements he carried out in his public role during recent weeks.
People adds that Charles is currently in quarantine at Birkhall, his and Camilla’s home on THE QUEEN’s Balmoral estate in Scotland. A source says that Charles began to feel a touch of the sicks over the weekend and was tested on Monday. His results came back as positive the next day. Charles and Camilla were not isolating from each other until he got the diagnosis, and then Camilla pulled a Diana and got the fuck away from him. She’s now isolating in a different part of the house.
As for THE QUEEN, who is 93, Charles last saw her on March 12. 98-year-old Prince Philip was not with her when she last saw Charles. A spokesperson for the palace says that she’s doing good.
Her Majesty The Queen remains in good health. The Queen last saw The Prince of Wales briefly after the investiture on the morning of 12th March and is following all the appropriate advice with regard to her welfare.
Of course she’s in good health. She will outlive them all and the crown will forever be hers.
Charles’ last public gig was on March 12, and he had recently been doing the namaste gesture instead of shaking hands. On March 10, he was at the same meeting that Prince Albert was at, and Prince Albert tested positive for coronavirus on March 18. So Charles could’ve caught it from any number of people, but please, we all know how it happened. The stress of that calculating succubus hussy Meghan Markle stealing his son away from the royal family broke down his immune system. And then when she saw him at Commonwealth Day services on March 9, she kissed his cheek while wearing a lipstick in shade: Coronavirus Coral. The evil and disgusting lengths that lecherous basic cable trollop will go to in order to bring down the royal family!