The Royals Attended The London Premiere of James Bond In “No Time To Die”

September 28, 2021 / Posted by:

You know the British Royal Family is pressed for some good PR because they have risked the very fabric of the monarchy by sending 4 of their highest ranking members to a movie premiere. And the movie is fucking cursed! I guess they’re running low on Egyptian antiquities to pilfer and instead decided to tempt the gods by sending Princes Charles and William, and Duchesses Camilla and Kate to go rub elbows with the Hollywood hoi polloi at the London premiere of No Time To Die, the James Bond movie that was supposed to have come out in 2019 and make Ana de Armas a star. And here we are, 2 years and 200 pap strolls later, and neither of those things has happened!

NTTD’s twisted journey from page to screen began in 2018 with Daniel Craig breaking his promise to never do another Bond movie again. Then, the movie’s original director Danny Boyle quit over “creative differences after promising to make Bond 25 (working title at the time) compatible with the #metoo era. Cary Joji Fukunaga eventually took over as director, Daniel broke his ankle, there was an on-set explosion that injured a crew member, and somebody found a poop-peeper camera in the bathroom. And that was all before the pandemic! To put this in perspective. Billie Eillish recorded and released the theme song NTTD way back in February 2020 when she still had green hair. Membah her?! Needless to say, if you’re going to risk someone shouting at Prince William “hey, Bill, where’s uncle Andy tonight?” best to do it when there is No Time To Die (a Little Inside). According to People:

A duo of duchesses and a pair of princes mingled royal glamour with modern movie glitz as they reunited with James Bond.

Kate Middleton and Prince William joined Prince Charles and Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall as guests of honor at the world premiere of the latest Bond movie, No Time to Die, on Tuesday evening.

Kate, 39, looked every bit the star while wearing a stunning gold, beaded Jenny Packham gown with a dramatic cape. Elegant earrings from London-based company O’Nitaa and a neatly swept updo rounded out the Duchess’s look — a look so nice, in fact, that star Daniel Craig told her, “You look jolly lovely!”

What they won’t tell you is he then turned to Camilla and said “you’ve got a little something on your lip there, love.” Here are the Royals positively slumming it.

Here’s Daniel already looking decades older than he does on the poster.

We pretty much know we’re never getting a Lady James Bond but NTTD does feature a Lady 007 played by Lashana Lynch below in Vivian Westwood for Petco (you can find it in the cat toy aisle).

Hey, remember when the producers banned Ben Affleck from attending the premiere with Ana de Armas because they were doing too much? LOL. Well here’s Ana who couldn’t even get a plus one for her Tinder date.

And here are some of the other stars including Rami Malek as The Bad Guy, Ben Wishaw as Q, Naomie Harris as Eve Moneypenny, Léa Seydoux, Jeffrey Wright, Rory Kinnear, Dame Judi Dench, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Jason Momoa, and Michelle Yeoh.

According to Deadline, this premier “will lead a series of premieres in 57 cities across the globe, including 10 in the UK and Ireland to which health care workers will be invited as special guests in celebration and gratitude of their work during the pandemic.” Still, as much as they’d like me to, I’m not seeing this shit in the theater and it has nothing to do with the coronavirus. This shit is cursed cursed, I’m not risking having the ceiling cave in on me and getting asbestos all in my popcorn!


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