Category: Try The Jello

John Singleton Is Reportedly In The Hospital After Suffering A Stroke

April 20, 2019 / Posted by:

Two-time Oscar nominated writer and director John Singleton, who gave us Boyz n the Hood, Poetic Justice, Higher Learning and Baby Boy, is reportedly laid up in the hospital after suffering a stroke. So light your Poetic Justice prayer candle (yes, I’m checking to see if Etsy has one and filing a complaint if they don’t) for the man who brought us one of the best lines in cinematic history: “You wanna smell my punane?

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Britney Spears Is Reportedly In A Mental Health Facility To Deal With Her Dad’s Sickness

April 3, 2019 / Posted by:

At the beginning of this year, we all raised our Velveeta grits-stirring wooden ladle as we sent healing thoughts to Daddy Spears and his colon after it ruptured and put him in a seriously sick way. Since Daddy Spears snatched the pink wig off of his little Cheetoling in 2007 and saved her, she returned the favor and announced that she was putting her Las Vegas show on hold to care for him. It seems like dealing with Daddy Spears’ worsening condition became a lot for her to take, and TMZ says she’s getting help. Continue reading

Luke Perry Is In The Hospital After Reportedly Suffering A Stroke (UPDATE)

February 28, 2019 / Posted by:

Just one day after news of that bizarre 90210 reboot punched a HUH? out of us, we’re learning that Luke Perry had a major stroke and is in the hospital right now. QUICK! Everybody grab your 90210 crucifix (read: a Dylan McKay doll) and a vat of 90210 holy water (read: some drugstore 90210 perfume from the 90s) and form a prayer circle around Dylan McKay now!

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Brit Brit Spears Is Putting Her Las Vegas Show On Hold To Care For A Sick Daddy Spears

January 4, 2019 / Posted by:

Next month, the Las Vegas Strip was supposed to get another serving of pork rinds-encrusted TALENT when Britney Spears boggled audience minds with her raw vocals (not a typo, more on that later) and impeccable “flip that weave while walking back and forth” dance moves, but that’s not going to happen anymore. No, Brit Brit isn’t hanging up her tiara as the Princess of Las Vegas to finally fulfill her dream of quitting the business of show to run a cheetah milking farm that produces Cheetos (nobody tell Brit Brit that you can’t milk a Cheeto out of a cheetah). Brit Brit is taking a work hiatus for a sad reason, she’s going to help out her dad/one of the heads of her conservatorship, Daddy Spears, because his health is in a bad way.

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John Mayer Was Rushed To The Hospital For An Emergency Appendectomy

December 5, 2017 / Posted by:

If you were to guess what sort of emergency situation might put John Mayer into the hospital, you might say it could have something to do with accidentally drinking a bottle of cologne, or a strong burning sensation during urination. But this time, John’s appendix pulled a fast one on him, and he was forced into emergency surgery.

A rep for John tells TMZ that he was rushed to the hospital early this morning in New Orleans. He underwent appendectomy surgery. John is currently on tour with Dead & Company. They had a show scheduled tonight in New Orleans.

Dead & Company released a statement concerning John’s sudden exit, saying that the show planned for this evening is postponed and that people can get a refund if they want to. But they didn’t say how John is doing. Or whether they sent something nice to the hospital on behalf of the band. Like a stuffed Grateful Dead bear wrapped in a tie-dye scarf that says “Get Groovy Soon, Man.” Although Dead & Company founder Bob Weir did wish John a speedy recovery.

Waking up in the middle of the night to the kind of awful pains that land you in the ER is no joke. It’s such a shitty situation. You’re confused and scared, and nothing the doctor says makes any sense. I can only imagine how terrified a half-asleep John Mayer was when he heard they were going to have to remove his appendix. “Oh god, not my dick!!! Anything but that! I use that organ the most! Wait – did you say appendix? Phew. That’s still bad, but…not as bad.



Wendy Williams Passed Out On Her Show This Morning

October 31, 2017 / Posted by:

While wearing one of Hedda Lettuce’s old wigs as a Las Vegas Statue of Liberty on her Halloween episode today, Wendy Williams lost control of her words, her eyes widened like mine did whenever I got apple slices instead of candy during trick or treating times and she passed the fuck out on live television. No, Wendy was not doing performance art commentary on the Statue of Liberty’s reaction to what the Jabba the Trump administration is doing to this country. Wendy had a “man down, code 10 situation” (copyright: the legendary Frankie Lyons).  Continue reading

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