Never mind earthquakes. California was nearly taken out yesterday by the tsunami of fanboy drool created by Marvel Studios announcing all of their upcoming movie and TV offerings at San Diego Comic-Con. Angelina Jolie sashayed out to get that Marvel money and officially joined the cast of The Eternals. Natalie Portman deigned to make an appearance to announce that she’s going to be the new female Thor. Marvel also exhibited their absolute fearlessness when they revealed that they’ve recast Blade with Oscar winner Mahershala Ali. Their security must be aces because Noxeema Jackson is going to show up with an uzi when she hears that she’s not getting any cash from Marvel anytime soon with which to pay off her outstanding IRS tab.
The director of the Golden Globe-winning film Green Book, Peter Farrelly, admitted to flashing his penis in front of hundreds of people, including Cameron Diaz, and it honestly just sounds like a silly anecdote at this point. It’s the mushroom on the top of a shit sundae served up by the film’s screenwriter, Nick Vallelonga, who recently deleted his Twitter account after an anti-muslim, conspiracy theory tweet was discovered. Warning: the “sprinkles” on this sundae are actually mouse turds. Let’s not forget that the star of the film, Mahershla Ali, a Muslim, already had to defend his co-star, Viggo Mortensen for saying the N-word at a screening back in November.
Just about a year ago, HBO confirmed that True Detective would be coming back for a third season and that it would star Moonlight Oscar winner and the color yellow’s best friend Mahershala Ali. I guess HBO knew we would all need at least 4 years to wash the Vince Vaughn from our collective memories before they dared revisit the show, because we are only now getting a trailer for Season 3 which will premiere in January, 2019.
HBO remains pretty tight-lipped about the details of True Detective 3. But that’s a good thing, given it’s supposed to be a mystery and all. The biggest mystery I gleaned from the trailer is what rock did they find Stephen Dorff under and why are they punishing him with that wig? Hopefully, all will be revealed. Here’s the trailer.
I’m a glutton for punishment, especially when it comes in the form of sexy brooding, so I’m in. But what a weird choice to use clips of Morgan Freeman from Shawshank Redemption instead of just putting Mahershala in old man makeup. According to Deadline:
Season 3 will tell the story of a macabre crime in the heart of the Ozarks and a mystery that deepens over decades and plays out in three separate time periods. Ali will play the lead role of Wayne Hays, a state police detective from northwest Arkansas.
Though you wouldn’t know it from the trailer, Stephen plays Mahershala’s partner. And because the characters span decades, expect multiple dubious wigs. Season 3 was written by Nic Pizzolatto who also wrote Season 1 and will co-direct with Jeremy Saulnier. Even though I am still butthurt over season 2, I’m willing to give Mahershala and his little friend a shot at wasting my time ultimately disappointing me. I may be a sucker but I’m no fool.
A rumored third season of the confounding HBO show True Detective starring Mahershala Ali has been confirmed. Series creator Nic Pizzolatto will will write and co-direct with Jeremy Saulnier. With Mahershala attached, at the very least, there is potential for sex appeal and drama. But as we saw happen in season 2, well, there are still plenty of ways for them to fuck it up.
True Detective is (probably) coming back and it’s got a brand new face and that face is fine as hell. Mahershala Ali (Moonlight, House of Cards, Hidden Figures, Luke Cage) is in talks to star on the third season of the HBO drama.
We’re finally ending our never-ending Oscar coverage today and the best way to end it is with some man pieces who were probably suffocating in their nut-hugging pants and wanted to take it all off halfway through the show. They should’ve. It would’ve made that mess a hundred million times better and awakened all my senses.
My best dressed chick of the Oscars is definitely Charlize Theron, because with that ponytail, casual diamond earrings and daytime gold la-may gown, she was done up like Alexis Carrington making a quick trip to the supermarket. It was very daytime casual Dynasty. And my best dressed dude is definitely Ryan Gosling, who looks like he reeks of Jovan Musk oil and is about to pick you up in his dad’s gold two-tone Lincoln Continental Mark V to take you to the senior prom where he’s going to feel you up while slow dancing to The Closer I Get To You. And he’s definitely the one who spiked the punch.
Ryan wore Gucci (duh) and I couldn’t tell if those were actual ruffles or trompe l’oeil ruffles (Side note: I don’t do drag, but if I ever did, I’ve got dibs on the name Tramp Louie Ruffles.) And then there’s the smooth rat Pharrell, who dressed like a maître d at an underground restaurant that only serves virgin blood and is owned by Kunty Karl. There’s a reason why Pharrell looks like that. He’s wearing Chanel.
And here’s a million more pictures of the dudes from the Oscars. Come for Mahershala Ali and come again for hot piece of wood Jamie Dornan.