Last night Lea Michele was trending on Twitter so I knew instantly that she had lost another role to someone. She doesn’t trend unless she is shitting in a wig or losing roles. I soon found that 34-year-old Cynthia Erivo and 28-year-old Ariana Grande have been cast in the movie version of the Broadway musical hit Wicked, which Jon M. Chu will direct. And while everyone is plugging their ears in anticipation of Lea Michele scream-crying about losing out on another dream role, somebody should check on Dove Cameron too.
Just because we’re still in the middle of a pandemic and Heidi Klum’s annual Halloween party didn’t happen for the second year in a row, doesn’t mean that the other celebrities won’t get together and tear shit up for attention. Much like a drag queen, if a celebrity isn’t working Halloween they are losing money! Harry Styles’ tour took him to Madison Square Garden in NYC on Halloween, and he decided to get festive by dressing up as a hobo hipster who just so happened to find a Dorothy Gale costume in the dumpster.
Jennifer Lawrence plays a nerdy relatable scientist in the upcoming Netflix movie Don’t Look Up and I’m only telling you this in case the wig doesn’t give it away. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I thought she was playing a hacker or computer-specific nerd based on the bluntness of the bang and the nose ring, but Variety confirms that she and Leonardo DiCaprio play “astronomy grad student,” and “her professor” respectively, if Leo’s greasy hair and corduroy jacket didn’t give it away. With this level of wardrobe acting going on, you don’t even need Meryl Streep! And you certainly don’t need to put her in Nancy Reagan drag with two-barrel curls the size of elephant dicks threatening to chew up all the scenery. That’s Meryl’s meal! But you do it anyway. And you throw in Tyler Perry, Timothée Chalamet, Jonah Hill, Ariana Grande and Cate Blanchett for good measure. Because you’re Adam McKay and you can.
In case you forgot, Nicki Minaj, Ariana Grande, and Jessie J joined forces in 2014 for the song Bang Bang, which was nominated for a Grammy(?!) in 2015 and was the Nickolodeon Kids’ Choice Song of the Year the same year. Recently Jessie J gushed about it, saying that Ariana and Nicki heard the song and had to get on it. But Nicki Minaj’s ego would not let Jessie J get away with suggesting she’d be thirsty for a song. She’s only thirsty for Chanel and beef with Cardi B. Nicki reality-checked Jessie J and said she was asked to be on it by her label, thankyouverymuch. I just picture Nicki holding her almost one-year-old son and cooing to him, “Don’t worry baby, your mother would never ask to be on a Jessie J song.”
Because it’s a holiday weekend in the U.S., the iHeartRadio Music Awards was the second biggest event last night. The first being whatever you had for dinner and the third being you taking a shit midway through the awards. While it didn’t give you Pink and her 11-year-old daughter hanging from a ceiling, it did give you Doja Cat turning M. Night Shyamalan‘s Signs into a sexy club show and almost got abducted in a cornfield by some hot aliens–so basically she recreated one of Elon Musk‘s less-elaborate sexual fantasies on stage.
The iHeartRadio Music Awards is something that happened last night, and that was probably exciting for the three people who knew it was on and watched. It was probably also exciting for the celebrities who showed up because it gave them a chance to strip out of their pajamas and sweats and slather themselves in fashion foolery, including the above look from Bruno Mars which looks like a still from a movie called Puerto Rican Casanova Swingers Club.