While it seems like Jonah Hill was talking about his love of dick-shaped foods in Superbad just yesterday, it turns out that yesterday was actually the 15th anniversary of the film’s release. Since then, Jonah has had an eventful career, even earning Academy Award nominations for his performances in Moneyball and The Wolf of Wall Street (in which his lines also afforded him the opportunity to be Hollywood’s top fuck-worder). With success inevitably comes haters, though, and he’s had people discussing his weight and body ever since he became famous. Jonah has pivoted to directing as well, and now that he’s at a place in his career where he’s able to make the choice, he’s announced in an open letter that he’ll no longer be hitting the promotion stroll for his films because it’s had adverse effects on his anxiety and mental health, according to IndieWire.
After the success of Don’t Look Up, many are asking questions like, “Wow, what a fun film. What’s Jonah Hill going to do next?” or “Are we all going to die horrible deaths due to the effects of climate change?! If you’re in the former camp, then don’t expect Jonah to be starring in Star Wars media anytime soon. His best bud Leonardo DiCaprio tried to get him hooked on the smash hit The Mandalorian with little success. Leo’s going to have to try to get his old friends into other cool young people things if he wants them to have something in common with his girlfriends!
Jonah Hill is clearly not satisfied with hearing the words “two-time Oscar nominee,” and wants to increase the number to three, or even “Oscar-winner Jonah Hill“, because Deadline has announced that he will be playing the late psychedelic jam band legend Jerry Garcia in a biopic directed by Martin Scorsese for Apple. Of course, the ice cream-gobbling maniac in me got way too excited about this project until I realized with great disappointment it wasn’t a movie about Cherry Garcia. But this is good too, I guess.
We all know deep down that it’s not cool to comment on other people’s bodies, as Jonah Hill recently reminded us, but did you know we are also not supposed to talk about other people’s hobbies? Because according to Jonah, he’s not here for people’s opinions about his relatively newfound passion for surfing. It’s clear that Jonah has never seen Point Break, (which is wild if you think about it), because somebody stickered his favorite surf spot with a sticker that reads “Jonah Hill Ruined Surfing,” and instead of being relieved he didn’t get the message the hard way, by having The Red Hot Chili Peppers jump him when his back is turned, he and his girlfriend took to social media to complain about it. Johnny Utah would nevah!
Like Kumail Nanjiani before him, Jonah Hill is letting the people know that he’s done with hearing opinions about his body. Jonah took to Instagram to kindly ask his fans to stop commenting, even if they mean well. He writes that these comments about his body, “good or bad,” are not helpful and they don’t make him feel good.
Jennifer Lawrence plays a nerdy relatable scientist in the upcoming Netflix movie Don’t Look Up and I’m only telling you this in case the wig doesn’t give it away. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I thought she was playing a hacker or computer-specific nerd based on the bluntness of the bang and the nose ring, but Variety confirms that she and Leonardo DiCaprio play “astronomy grad student,” and “her professor” respectively, if Leo’s greasy hair and corduroy jacket didn’t give it away. With this level of wardrobe acting going on, you don’t even need Meryl Streep! And you certainly don’t need to put her in Nancy Reagan drag with two-barrel curls the size of elephant dicks threatening to chew up all the scenery. That’s Meryl’s meal! But you do it anyway. And you throw in Tyler Perry, Timothée Chalamet, Jonah Hill, Ariana Grande and Cate Blanchett for good measure. Because you’re Adam McKay and you can.