The world was shocked, shocked I say!, when it was discovered that Leonardo DiCaprio was breaking his own rule of never dating a haggard, old maid (read: women over 25). Rumor spread that Leo was hanging out with Gigi Hadid who is a full TWO YEARS older than 25. Initially, we all thought it was just Yolanda Hadid trying to get some easy press for her daughter, but after being seen ”getting cozy” at a party and anonymous sources saying that they’re having a “good time,” the Leo-Gigi affair might be true love. Now they’ve been spotted at the same hotel in Paris. At this rate, we may have to upgrade them to canoodling!
Jennifer Lawrence plays a nerdy relatable scientist in the upcoming Netflix movie Don’t Look Up and I’m only telling you this in case the wig doesn’t give it away. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I thought she was playing a hacker or computer-specific nerd based on the bluntness of the bang and the nose ring, but Variety confirms that she and Leonardo DiCaprio play “astronomy grad student,” and “her professor” respectively, if Leo’s greasy hair and corduroy jacket didn’t give it away. With this level of wardrobe acting going on, you don’t even need Meryl Streep! And you certainly don’t need to put her in Nancy Reagan drag with two-barrel curls the size of elephant dicks threatening to chew up all the scenery. That’s Meryl’s meal! But you do it anyway. And you throw in Tyler Perry, Timothée Chalamet, Jonah Hill, Ariana Grande and Cate Blanchett for good measure. Because you’re Adam McKay and you can.
Leonardo DiCaprio Was Called “Unrecognizable” In A First-Look Shot From “Killers Of The Flower Moon” Which Was Shared By Camila Morrone
Three years on and Leonardo DiCaprio and his old lady Camila Marrone are still going strong. Despite the indignities of old age beginning to show on her once childlike face, they’ve stuck it out, through the good times (embarking on a yachting excursion with Sean Penn) and the bad (day 2 of a yachting excursion with Sean Penn). According to E!, Leo’s “dream girl” recently “showed a little PDA” on Instagram by sharing a first-look shot from Leo’s upcoming movie for Apple TV+, Killers of the Flower Moon, directed by Martin Scorsese. At least we have to assume it was Leo! The New York Post called Leo “unrecognizable.” It’s a period film set in 1920s Oklahoma, so maybe the Lost Generation middle part threw ‘em and they mistook him for a Millennial like his girlfriend. Only at 23, she’s actually Gen Z.
Well, here’s a story that claims the 46-year-old leader of the Pussy Posse, Leonardo DiCaprio, has found “the one” in his 23-year-old model/actress girlfriend Camila Morrone as sources call her his “dream girl.” I guess after months of coronavirus lockdowns making 2020 seem like an endless time-loop Leo has convinced himself that Camila will stay 23 forever. Sorry, Leo, time doesn’t work like that.
Time to circle the yachts, a member of the Pussy Posse has been accused of sexual assault. The Daily Beast has published an accusation of sexual assault against Kevin Connolly by a former costume designer named Gracie Cox. Gracie claims Kevin assaulted her at a 2005 wrap party for Kevin’s directorial debut The Gardener of Eden which starred fellow posse-mate Lukas Haas and was produced by Leonardo DiCaprio. Kevin may not have any lips to speak of, but he made the most with what he’s got to speak a denial. Kevin claims the encounter was consensual.
With Tom Hanks’ return to the United States, the three cornerstones of the Illuminati pentagram can once again join forces to summon the devil as soon as Oprah Winfrey can get Jay-Z to pick up the phone (don’t worry, they don’t have to worrying about staying 6-feet away from each other so they don’t catch coronavirus because they invented coronavirus). Perhaps as a smoke screen to hide their true purpose, Oprah has decided to donate $10 million dollars to various coronavirus relief efforts, $1 million of which has already been donated to America’s Food Fund, a newly formed organization co-founded by Leonardo DiCaprio and Laurene Powell Jobs (Steve’s widow). So now, can we let her get back to sucking the brains out of babies’ ears in peace? Your move, Jeff Bezos (oh wait, he just announced he’s dating $100 million to Feeding America).