Time to circle the yachts, a member of the Pussy Posse has been accused of sexual assault. The Daily Beast has published an accusation of sexual assault against Kevin Connolly by a former costume designer named Gracie Cox. Gracie claims Kevin assaulted her at a 2005 wrap party for Kevin’s directorial debut The Gardener of Eden which starred fellow posse-mate Lukas Haas and was produced by Leonardo DiCaprio. Kevin may not have any lips to speak of, but he made the most with what he’s got to speak a denial. Kevin claims the encounter was consensual.
With Tom Hanks’ return to the United States, the three cornerstones of the Illuminati pentagram can once again join forces to summon the devil as soon as Oprah Winfrey can get Jay-Z to pick up the phone (don’t worry, they don’t have to worrying about staying 6-feet away from each other so they don’t catch coronavirus because they invented coronavirus). Perhaps as a smoke screen to hide their true purpose, Oprah has decided to donate $10 million dollars to various coronavirus relief efforts, $1 million of which has already been donated to America’s Food Fund, a newly formed organization co-founded by Leonardo DiCaprio and Laurene Powell Jobs (Steve’s widow). So now, can we let her get back to sucking the brains out of babies’ ears in peace? Your move, Jeff Bezos (oh wait, he just announced he’s dating $100 million to Feeding America).
Despite the fact that Alan Thicke is dead, fan-favorite Boner is dead, and Kirk Cameron is also dead (to me), Us Weekly is reporting that a reboot of Growing Pains, which ran for 7(!) seasons from 1985-1992, is in the works. Yes, technically Leonardo Di Caprio is still alive, but the chances of him reprising his role as a homeless pre-teen are slim. From the sounds of things, the GP reboot is still in the early stages and so far, only Mike Seaver (Kirk whose real life sister Candace is on Fuller House), sister Carole (Tracey Gold whose real life sister Missy was on Benson), and kid brother Ben (Jeremy Miller, a part-time caterer) have managed to clear their extremely busy schedules. And you can’t have a GP reboot without mom Maggie Seaver! And Judith Light lite actress Joanna Kerns has yet to sign on.
Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt are in full-blown press-tour mode for Quentin Tarantino’s Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, which is why they got a cover story courtesy of Esquire. As you can see, this is a super retro special issue. Everything is retro: the clothes, the car, all the way down to Brad and Leo’s squinty “the sun’s too bright” faces. Nothing says throwback to the ’60s more than looking like you’ve chosen to stare directly into a solar eclipse without proper eye protection. But enough about that, we’re here to talk about the real star of the OUATIH set, who – in Brad and Leo’s squinty eyes – was the late great Luke Perry.
Foot fetishists rejoice (podophobiacs recoil)! Unlike in the previous trailer, Foot Fucker In Chief Quentin Tarantino paid lipservice to your kink and shoehorned a pair of plump N’ grubby Flintstone feet into the new full length trailer for Once Upon A Time In Hollywood. And everybody, footsuckers included, can breathe a sigh of relief because the feet in question don’t belong to Lena Dunham. As far as we know, the only naked Dunham moment in this production was the time she lifted her skirt and gave William Bradley Pitt the scare of his life. And as we know, Brad don’t scare easy.
Variety has published a list of the top earning celebrities for 2019 and Martin Lawrence is sitting pretty at the big boys’ (and girls, and Tommy Girl’s) table. And no, I’m not talking about that Martin Lawrence, I’m talking about original recipe Martin Lawrence. Thanks to his Bad Boys For Life co-star Will Smith, Martin Fitzgerald Lawrence out-earned Academy Award nominees Jessica Chastain and Joaquin Phoenix. The three-time Kid’s Choice nominee was paid $6 million for reprising his role in the Bad Boys 3-sequel. I guess that creepy genie really can make wishes come true!