It looks like Cardi B’s longtime nemesis is also getting news for her WAP. But in this case, we’re talking about the gushing of fluids that happen when your water breaks. Because Nicki Minaj has given birth.
TMZ is reporting that sources with “direct knowledge” of the situation has informed them all about Nicki’s birth. The sources say that Nicki and her husband of nearly a year, Kenneth “Zoo” Petty, welcomed their first child in Los Angeles yesterday. The birth comes a little over two months after she confirmed she was pregnant, which was kind of redundant, considering most of the internet figured something was up when they saw her execute the least-convincing job at hiding a bump in Tekashi 6ix9ine’s video for “TROLLZ.” There are no other details, like if it’s a boy or a girl, what its name is, or whether she turned into a motherfuckin’ monster every time a contraction lit her asshole on fire (yes that’s a thing).
Unlike the many secret babies of quarantine, Nicki’s comes as no surprise. Even her pregnancy wasn’t that much of a surprise, as she announced last September that she was retiring so she could start a family. She didn’t actually retire of course, but she has started a family. A family with a sex offender and convicted killer who technically isn’t legally allowed to be around children, but I’m sure that’s something they’re working around?
Nicki herself hasn’t said anything yet about the birth. She’s probably preparing an extremely glamorous and tasteful infant portrait reveal, complete with neon lamé receiving blanket, a custom-made push-up nursing bra with two Swarovski crystal-covered breast pumps secured to each nipple, and 7-inch high-density plastic postpartum heels. They’re postpartum-grade because they have a little extra arch support in case you’re still wobbly from an epidural. Safety first! You don’t need a newborn and a rolled ankle all in one week.