The 2023 Razzie nominations are here, and poor Tom Hanks scored three nominations: Worst Actor for Disney’s Pinocchio, Worst Supporting Actor for Elvis, and Worst Screen Couple for Tom and his “Latex-Laden Face (and Lubricous Accent)” in Elvis. From double Oscar winner to triple Razzie nominee. Bummer. On the bright side, Tom isn’t the only guy with three noms: Colson Baker, aka Machine Gun Kelly, was also nominated thrice for Worst Actor, Worst Director, and Worst Screen Couple (with Avril Lavigne’s fiancé, Mod Sun) for the stoner comedy, Good Mourning (0% on Rotten Tomatoes). Tom Hanks and MGK: industry equals!
Are America’s reigning horniest/most obnoxious couple on the outs? People are once again speculating that Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly have split, having had their fill of bloody Megans. In a recent social media post, Megan donned her finest pink bucket hat to announce that she would like applications from the audience for the role of her new girlfriend. Uh oh, the last time she wore that a hat like that everyone thought we were finally free of their reign of tedious attempts at edginess. We were WRONG, of course. You can’t kill their true love (for famewhoring)!
Open Post: Hosted By Machine Gun Kelly Snorting “Cocaine” Off Megan Fox’s Boobs As Tommy Lee And Pam Anderson
Last week, people speculated that Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly were over cuz they laid low over the summer. Turns out the couple was just saving all their energy for the Annual March of the Attention Whores, aka Halloween. This weekend they dressed up in two different couples costumes: BDSM-Catholic types, and Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee. And because giant fake boobs and tattoos aren’t as edgy as they were 25 years ago, MGK went the extra mile and posted a video of himself snorting “cocaine” off of Meg/Pam’s chest through a rolled-up dollar bill. No word on what the mysterious white substance actually was. Baby powder? Flour? Anthrax? Continue reading
Some Think Megan Fox And Machine Gun Kelly Have Split, And Megan Sarcastically Responded To A Commenter Asking Where Her Kids Were
It seems like just yesterday that Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly were thrusting their oh-so-edgy love in our faces: tonguin’ on the red carpet and drinking each other’s blood. Ah, the good ol’ days. But, since the spring, we’ve heard nary a peep from the Bizarro version of Kourtney Kardashian & Travis Barker. This silence, plus a few clues from Instagram, has led some to deduce that Megan and MGK are dunzo. Ugh, I hope they are. There’s no logical reason Machine Gun Kelly should be this famous.
With all the attention that Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling have been getting as Ken and Barbie, it’s no wonder that their trashy $1 store tethers, Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox, seem to be scrambling to redirect the spotlight onto themselves, the self-styled Barbie and Ken of the poser punk scene. Well, MGK, Sir, you are no Ken! Ken’s got more balls in his smooth plastic mons pubis than whatever MGK had rolling around under his pastel pink culottes as he smashed a champagne glass on his forehead on stage during an after-party. Yes, a CHAMPAGNE glass. Even MGK’s weapon of choice was less punk rock than the machine-frayed edges on Ken’s sleeveless light-wash denim jacket.
UPDATE: TMZ says that 46-year-old Travis Barker is down and out with pancreatitis and a recent colonoscapy he had may have triggered it. Below is the original post.
The Kardashian Krew are habitual shape-shifters, so I would have bet the farm that if there was a Kardashian-adjacent medical emergency, it would be due to one of the Koven’s rib-removals gone awry or an overzealous seat-sucking leading to two sad, deflated balloon looking flaps of skin where ass cheeks used to be. Unfortunately, it seems as though something more serious has happened to a member of the Krew, because Kourtney Kardashian’s husband, Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker, was hospitalized yesterday for a yet-to-be-disclosed medical emergency.