Category: A Royal Scandal

Lizzo Shared A Video From The Grammys That Proves Adele Did Not Walk Out On Harry Styles During His AOTY Acceptance Speech

February 7, 2023 / Posted by:

Ben Affleck wasn’t the only attendee at Sunday’s Grammy Awards ceremony to fall victim to the all-seeing eye of Big Camera. Following Harry Styles’ win for the night’s biggest prize, Album of the Year, Adele was seen getting up from her seat during his acceptance speech, leading many viewers to believe that the president of the UK chapter of the Beyhive had walked out in protest, presumably because Beyonce didn’t win AOTY for Renaissance. However, unlike Ben, who really did appear to be passing a kidney stone roughly the same size as the rocks J Lo’s got all evening, the shot of Adele “walking out” was misleading. And Adele’s seatmate Lizzo has the video to prove it. Which, of course! Adele and Harry are both British. If Adele hasn’t walked out on James Cordon by now, she’s certainly not going to show Harry her ass.

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Prince William And Kate Middleton Are Reportedly “Very Upset” By Prince Harry’s Tell-All

January 7, 2023 / Posted by:

Ever since Prince Harry announced the release of Spare, the internet has been abuzz with excerpts from the tell-all book. From the tale of fisticuffs between the two princes to the origins of the infamous Nazi uniform to Harry dragging William for his hair loss, the book contains a seemingly never-ending stream of embarrassing stories designed to last a Queen’s lifetime. So, what do the Royals think of Harry’s collection of bedtime stories for unloved boys? They’re pissed! Obviously.

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Ghislaine Maxwell Called Prince Andrew Her “Dear Friend” In A New Jailhouse Interview

October 17, 2022 / Posted by:

If Prince Andrew woke up this morning with his ears burning, it wasn’t because another one of his idiosyncratic war injuries was acting up. It’s because 4,000 miles away in a Tallahassee, Florida jail cell, a woman Andrew claims to barely know, Ghislaine Maxwell, gave an exclusive interview to The Daily Mail and expressed sympathy for what her “dear friend” has been going through ever since she was tried and convicted of sex trafficking a minor and to sentenced to serve 20 years in prison. And if that wasn’t proof enough that Andrew and that woman he claims Kevin Spacey invited to Buckingham Palace to sit on his now deceased mother, THE QUEEN’s throne, were actually, in fact, at one point, two spoiled-rotten peas in a pod, Ghislaine pulled a total Prince Andrew by complaining about the variety of fruit available to her at meal times. Continue reading

Prince Andrew Had To Skip The Garter Day Ceremony Because His Family Wouldn’t Let Him Attend

June 13, 2022 / Posted by:

Unfortunately, Prince Andrew’s recent positive COVID-19 test result that caused him to miss THE QUEEN’s Jubilee Thanksgiving service did not result in a case of long covid. SkyNews reports that Andrew was well enough and eager to attend today’s Garter Day ceremony but was shut down by a “family decision” that he needs to keep his ass indoors. I know that’s right! The Queen didn’t make it through her entire Jubilee in one piece only to get taken out by a flying cabbage that had been lobbed at Andrew’s silly hat.

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A New Documentary Unearths Prince Charles’ Correspondence With Notorious Pedophile Jimmy Savile

April 6, 2022 / Posted by:

Even with all the plundered riches of the word at their disposal, The Royal Family can’t seem to buy an inch of good press. Mostly, it seems, because they are so out of touch with the modern world, that the last time they tried to buy some good publicity, they spent their plundered riches on a state visit to the lands from which those very riches had been plundered. THE QUEEN’S big Platinum Jubilee is going to require some extra spit polish and elbow grease if it has any chance of outshining the scandals of the past few years. And the hits just keep coming. According to People, a new documentary about Britain’s most notorious pedophile, long-time BBC presenter and current sack of bones Jimmy Savile, has uncovered years of correspondence between him and Prince Charles. I know you probably thought I was gonna say the other one, but Prince Andrew is obviously too dumb to ask for help. But apparently, Charles frequently asked Jimmy for advice on crisis management and ways to modernize The Firm. He also asked Jimmy if he could talk some sense into one of his most embarrassing family members, Sarah Ferguson. *Spoiler Alert* It didn’t work.

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Prince Andrew’s Mother THE QUEEN Might Help Pay His Estimated $12 Million Legal Settlement

February 16, 2022 / Posted by:

Even though I know that Prince Andrew agreeing to a settlement with his accuser Virginia Giuffre was the most likely and advantageous outcome for both parties, part of me is suffering from a bad case of justice interruptus. Given that his mother THE QUEEN can pop over to The Tower of London and pocket any number of shiny bits and bobbles she likes from The Crown Jewels, the reported $12 million settlement that Andrew has agreed to pay, is a paltry sum indeed. Hell, Liz probably has enough loose diamonds hidden beneath every sofa, settee, and fainting couch in Buckingham Palace to choke a horse. But according to the New York Post, The Queen will reportedly only be paying a portion of Andrew’s settlement, taking it from her private Duchy of Lancaster estate, the same estate with which she pays Andrew his $323,000 annual salary.

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