Category: Ghislaine Maxwell

Ghislaine Maxwell’s Brother Shared A Photo That PROVES Prince Andrew Is Innocent Of Bath Time Footsies

January 30, 2023 / Posted by:

When Johnnie Cochran asked his client OJ Simpson to stand up in court and try on that leather glove during his murder trial, Johnnie established an (allegedly) bullet-proof “volume formula” defense for (allegedly) getting away with murder. And although Prince Andrew hasn’t been charged with a single solitary crime, he’s apparently using his contacts on the inside (of prison) to deploy a similar strategy in an effort to free himself from the shackles of unpopularity. According to The Daily Beast, Andrew’s “dear friend” Ghislaine Maxwell has apparently gotten her brother, Ian Maxwell, involved in Andrew’s life-or-ego death struggle for vindication.

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Prince Andrew Has Reportedly Raised Enough Funds To Prove He’s Never Met Virginia Giuffre In A Court Of Law

January 23, 2023 / Posted by:

One might assume that Prince Andrew doesn’t have much left to lose after getting fired from the one job he was born to do, but according to The Sun, Andy’s coffers aren’t completely bare (again) even though his ex wife Original Fergie‘s lender of choice, The Bank of Epstein, went belly up in 2019 and Andrew’s most reliable source of income, his mummy THE QUEEN, left him high and dry to go play with her corgis in the sky. Thankfully for Andrew, mummy didn’t leave him penniless and he’s presumed to have inherited “several million” from her. Andrew and Fergie also reportedly made £10 million from the sale of their Swiss Chalet. Add in all the money he’s saved on food and rent over the course of his life thanks to the astonishing generosity of the British taxpayer, even if you subtract the reported £3-£6 million he paid to settle Virginia Giuffre’s lawsuit against him plus the cost of postage required to keep in touch with his “dear friend Ghislaine Maxwell, who is serving 20 years in a Florida prison for sex trafficking, why he’s almost got enough left over to slink away from public life never to be seen or heard from again. It worked for, Prince Harry, Great Britain’s 2nd most superfluous Spare, now didn’t it?

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Ghislaine Maxwell Called Prince Andrew Her “Dear Friend” In A New Jailhouse Interview

October 17, 2022 / Posted by:

If Prince Andrew woke up this morning with his ears burning, it wasn’t because another one of his idiosyncratic war injuries was acting up. It’s because 4,000 miles away in a Tallahassee, Florida jail cell, a woman Andrew claims to barely know, Ghislaine Maxwell, gave an exclusive interview to The Daily Mail and expressed sympathy for what her “dear friend” has been going through ever since she was tried and convicted of sex trafficking a minor and to sentenced to serve 20 years in prison. And if that wasn’t proof enough that Andrew and that woman he claims Kevin Spacey invited to Buckingham Palace to sit on his now deceased mother, THE QUEEN’s throne, were actually, in fact, at one point, two spoiled-rotten peas in a pod, Ghislaine pulled a total Prince Andrew by complaining about the variety of fruit available to her at meal times. Continue reading

R. Kelly Has Been Sentenced To 30 Years In Prison

June 29, 2022 / Posted by:

Just four years ago, Robert Sylvester Kelly was bragging that it was too late to prosecute him for any alleged crimes because, not only was he adored by “40 billion motherfuckers,” but they “should have did this shit thirty years ago” before his music had “been injected into the world.” Speaking of lethal injections, Robert won’t be administered one for the crimes of racketeering and sex trafficking that he was convicted of last September in New York. However, according to Page Six, he will be serving a 30-year sentence for them. Oopsie daisy! Turns out it wasn’t too late to #MuteRKelly after all. Today, Robert was sentenced to serve 30 years for one count of racketeering and eight counts of violating the Mann Act which “prohibits the transport of ‘any woman or girl across state lines for any ‘immoral purpose’.” Thanks to vaccines and the dozens of brave women (45 witnesses testified!) who came forward to share their experiences, 40 billion motherfuckers have been cured!

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Ghislaine Maxwell Has Been Sentenced To 20 Years In Prison

June 28, 2022 / Posted by:

The final chapter in Ghislaine Maxwell’s story as one of the grosses main characters in the Jeffrey Epstein sex trafficking saga has finally come to a close today (possible title of that book: Is There A Place Hotter Than Hell For These Two?). Nearly six months after Ghislaine Maxwell was found guilty of five charges, including sex trafficking a minor, it was time to return to court and discuss sentencing. Lo and behold, Ghislaine will be locked away for 20 years.

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Prosecutors Want Ghislaine Maxwell To Serve 30-55 Years Behind Bars

June 23, 2022 / Posted by:

Six months ago Prince Andrew was putting his supposedly non-working royal sweat glands to the test when his gal pal Ghislaine Maxwell became the first person convicted on five federal sex trafficking charges to have sat on THE THRONE. But thanks to mummy’s deep pockets by way of the British taxpayer, Kevin Spacey was able to leapfrog over his back to get in line to be the second. Unfortunately for Ghislaine, unlike Andrew, whose very expensive lucky break meant he got to do the alleged crime without having to do the time, Ghislaine is looking at a possible 30-55 years of sitting on the porcelain throne she can see from her cot at her upcoming sentencing trial scheduled to begin on June 28. But don’t feel too badly for her. What Ghislaine’s throne lacks in upholstered opulence, it more than makes up for in security. The guards at Buckingham Palace may have let the riff-raff slip onto THE QUEEN’s throne, but nothing but dookie will be slipping into Ghislaine’s.

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