Prince Andrew Has Demanded A Jury Trial In His Sexual Assault Case

January 27, 2022 / Posted by:

A few weeks ago, a Manhattan judge ruled that Prince Andrew’s desperate attempts at getting Virginia Giuffre’s sexual assault lawsuit thrown out didn’t work, and the lawsuit would go to trial. After that decision was handed down, one could assume that Andrew went into panic mode and began preparing for his trial as much as a disgraced British prince could. In my mind, that meant packing a go-bag full of disguises (several pairs of joke shop Groucho Marx novelty glasses, one extra-long trench coat that would cover himself as he balanced on Fergie’s shoulders) and workshopping what his new anonymous identity will be (His Royal Highness Prince Notacreep Nolastname). As it turns out, his legal team has actually been working hard on a plan for this trial, and according to some recently filed documents, it involves Prince Andrew demanding a jury at this trial.

An 11-page document was filed in New York yesterday by Prince Andrew’s lawyers, and in it, they argue that he demands and deserves a jury trial and maintains he is 100% not guilty of the accusations against him (the accusations being that after being sex trafficked by the late Jeffrey Epstein, Virginia was forced to have sex with him three times when she was 17 years old). Prince Andrew is so innocent, he wants a jury to hear it from his own mouth. Oh, and he also still believes that the whole thing should be thrown out. via People magazine:

In new court documents filed by Prince Andrew’s lawyers in New York on Wednesday, Queen Elizabeth’s son denied all allegations against him and “hereby demands a trial by jury on all causes of action asserted in the complaint.”

The 11-page document set out a series of defenses “without assuming the burden of proof, and expressly denying any and all wrongdoing,” including arguments that the claim should be dismissed because Giuffre is a resident of Australia and that by entering into a 2009 agreement with Jeffrey Epstein she “waived the claims now asserted in the complaint.”

That agreement between Virginia and Jeffrey was broken down by lawyer Lisa Bloom, who says that the settlement agreement states that by accepting the settlement from Jeffrey Epstein in 2009, Virginia isn’t allowed to later come after anyone who might have been even remotely associated with the situation. But, as Lisa says, she’s never heard of that type of language used in a settlement agreement ever. And, it doesn’t really seem to matter that much, since the judge presiding over Andrew and Virginia’s lawsuit has pushed it through to trial.

Prince Andrew has until July 14th to answer any questions under oath about this lawsuit. It is set to go to trial sometime between September and December 2022. That is, unless he decides to settle. But, considering he just filed papers practically begging for a jury trial, he might not be too quick to open his wallet and hand over all the large bills to Virginia. And, you know, the whole thing about Prince Andrew allegedly having to pay for this whole thing out of his own pockets.

But Andrew really needs to stop and think a second. Does this man really want a trial by jury? Does he understand what that means? A jury is people. Human people who will watch him stammer out some bullshit about not being able to sweat while watching sweat beads collect on his forehead, and shoot each other “Oh, he’s guilty” looks. Please, someone quickly explain to him that he doesn’t get to pick the jury. He can’t fill the jury box with 12 of his favorite teddy bears. Aw, and I bet he had the palace tailor already working on little court suits for all of them.


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