Open Post: Hosted By The Chihuahua With Her Own “Emotional Support Dog” By Her Side During Hernia Treatments
As if it weren’t already apparent that dogs are too pure for this world, a chihuahua named Gue, who undergoes weekly treatments for a back hernia, and her supportive main bitch, Chew, have taken TikTok by storm after Chew showed that she DOES have the chops to be an emotional support dog to someone, despite her adorably dumb ass failing the test a bunch of times.
Ghislaine Maxwell Called Prince Andrew Her “Dear Friend” In A New Jailhouse Interview
If Prince Andrew woke up this morning with his ears burning, it wasn’t because another one of his idiosyncratic war injuries was acting up. It’s because 4,000 miles away in a Tallahassee, Florida jail cell, a woman Andrew claims to barely know, Ghislaine Maxwell, gave an exclusive interview to The Daily Mail and expressed sympathy for what her “dear friend” has been going through ever since she was tried and convicted of sex trafficking a minor and to sentenced to serve 20 years in prison. And if that wasn’t proof enough that Andrew and that woman he claims Kevin Spacey invited to Buckingham Palace to sit on his now deceased mother, THE QUEEN’s throne, were actually, in fact, at one point, two spoiled-rotten peas in a pod, Ghislaine pulled a total Prince Andrew by complaining about the variety of fruit available to her at meal times. Continue reading
Who Is September’s Hot Slut Of The Month?
Billy, the pussy who ignored Paper Lace’s advice and decided to be a hero by saving his human from a scary heart attack situation, won August’s Hot Slut of the Month battle by getting nearly 47% of the votes. Will Billy be able to bring the Hot Slut of the Year crown back to catmanity (the one and only HSOTY cat winner was Spaghetti Cat in 2008)?! That is the question, but Billy may get some help in bringing the HSOTY back to the hot pussies of the world from Eclipse, the alleged Chicken McNugget-thieving cat, who is up for September’s HSOTM. As always, the first three HSOTM finalists got the most Facebook likes, and the fourth was picked by me. Your choices for September are:
Colin Mitchell, the hot, bearded UPS driver from Iowa whose hotness hit peak chonies-destroying levels when he rescued two dogs from possibly drowning. While making a delivery, Colin noticed two dogs in the yard pool and he got a weird feeling about it. When he investigated, he noticed that the dogs were trapped in the pool by its solar cover and so he saved them! In possibly related news, dog costume sales are up 400000% among thirsty Iowa hos who own a pool.
Sheryl Lee Ralph’s Emmy Speech, the instantly iconic speech, complete with an opening number, that Sheryl Lee Ralph gave while accepting the Emmy for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series for her performance in Abbott Elementary. In definitely related news, knee surgeries are up 400000%from how hard people stood up and clapped for Sheryl Lee Ralph’s Emmy-winning Emmy speech!
Eclipse, the cat who was accused by her human of stealing Chicken McNuggets! But I’m sure that Eclipse will eventually be found not guilty in a cat court of law, because well, in a cat court of law, you’re innocent even if proven guilty.
La Bussi, Spain’s new transportation mascot and a new power bottom icon!
Voting is below. The winning HSOTM will be crowned in a week on Monday, October 24!
UPDATE: It’s kind of hard to vote against a hot piece in shorty shorts who saved dogs, so of course, Colin Mitchell won your votes and hearts! Colin is our new HSOTM and will go on to the Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals next year. Thanks to all who voted!
As Kanye West Prepares To Purchase Right-Wing Social Platform Parler, Trump Admits That Kanye Needs Help
Kanye West is determined to blend words together into gibberish so we all understand he’s a “free thinker” who can’t be controlled. At least, that’s what he thinks. Because the rest of the world sees a man who needs to go have several seats with a bowl of Lucky Charms and Lexapro. But Kanye is still at it. Since he was kicked off of Twitter and Instagram, Kanye plans on purchasing right-winged social media platform Parler. This WTF? decision is so terribly ill-advised even Kanye’s friend and fellow terrible person Donald Trump is squinting his eyes in Kanye’s direction and asking him, “Are you Ok?” And that says a lot.
Selena Gomez And Hailey Bieber Posed Together At An Event To Show That There’s “No Bad Feelings Between Them Anymore”
30-year-old Selena Gomez and 25-year-old Hailey Bieber have been “feuding” for years, and it’s for a terrible good reason–they both were romantically linked to the same man; Hailey’s current husband, 28-year-old Justin Bieber. Since I lived through Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan fighting over Aaron Carter, I have absolutely seen dumber shit than this, but the feud may have been put to rest… again. The thing is, Hailey and Selena have spoken many times over the years about how there’s no bad blood between them, but that doesn’t stop their fanbases from attacking each other and both celebs relentlessly. So now that the duo has taken a photo together at an event, will the fandoms let each other rest? Spoiler Alert: I don’t think so.
Tom Brady Attended Robert Kraft’s Wedding Without Gisele Bundchen
I don’t think the divorce rumors about Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen should be called “rumors” anymore because Gisele still refuses to be wherever Tom is. And I knew as soon as she stopped going to his games, he was about to be looking for another teammate to warm his cold bed at night in the near future. Well, the tryouts will probably start soon because Gisele is still nowhere to be found at Tom’s side. And this past weekend, when New England Patriots owner, 81-year-old Robert Kraft, married 47-year-old ophthalmologist Dr. Dana Blumberg, Gisele was once again absent.