Category: Hot Slut of the Month

June’s Hot Slut Of The Month Is…

July 12, 2019 / Posted by:

Megan Rapinoe, the King, Queen, Prince, Princess, Duke, and Duchess of American Soccer, recently told reporters this:

“I couldn’t be more proud to be [leading June’s Hot Slut of the Month contest at Dlisted]. It’s my absolute honor to lead [all the Hot Sluts of June].”

No, I did not fib up that quote and change it from Megan giving love to her co-captains and teammates. That is a real, un-fucked-with quote! But Megan can now be extra extra proud, because she has won Hot Slut of June, which I’m sure she’ll tell you is her most proudest achievement for July 2019!

Megan easily beat her HSOTM competition by taking 61% of the votes. Far behind were Kato with 17%, Dandy Zack with 12%, and The Lobster Roll-Snatching Seagull with 10%.

Megan will now represent June in the Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals in January. Thanks to all who voted! And if you’ve got a HSOTD nom, slide it my way.

Pic: Instagram

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Who Is June’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

July 8, 2019 / Posted by:

We’re doing shit a little bit differently for June’s Hot Slut of the Month showdown, and it’s all because of the constant toxic Lee Presson nail shard in my asshole called technical difficulties. Three out of the four HSOTM finalists are usually chosen based on Facebook likes, but because of our server move, Facebook likes got jacked up. But the Hot Slutting most go on, so this month three of your choices got the most comments, and the fourth, as always, was picked by me. Your choices for June are:

The Lobster Roll-Snatching Seagull, the high-class thief who showed that they’ve got a taste for the finer things by stealing an entire lobster roll and doing it in front of the lobster roll owner’s iPhone. I know that Awkwafina is voicing the character of Scuttle in the live-action Little Mermaid movie, but this seagull should obviously play the body of Scuttle (and yes I’m only saying that because this seagull is the only famous seagull I know at the moment)!

Kato, the big fluffy ball of delicateness who lived my nightmare (by going hiking) and my dream (by being carried like Cleopatra on the throne) after getting the stage 10 tireds while hiking and having to be rescued.

Zack MacLeod Pinsent, the British dandy who lives (and dresses) each day like he’s got cholera and it’s his last, because he dresses all fancy old-timey-like 24/7.

Megan Rapinoe, the Queen of American Soccer and World Cup champion who isn’t going to the fucking White House.

Voting is below. The winning HSOTM will be crowned this Friday, July 12!

Pics: @RulingSports, @efr_co, Instagram, Wenn.com

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May’s Hot Slut Of The Month Is….

June 14, 2019 / Posted by:

Billy Porter has been killing it at every awards show from the Golden Globes to the Oscars to the Tonys, and now he has killed it at another illustrious awards show, Dlisted’s Hot Slut of the Month extravaganza, by winning it all. And our awards show has a red carpet for Billy Porter to destroy too, only he may want to wear a rhinestone-embedded Hazmat suit since our red carpet would give a black light night terrors.

The “Cleopatra if Cleopatra was a regular at Studio 54” glamour that Billy Porter laid down at the Met Gala has won May’s HSOTM showdown with 46% of the votes. Patty Ratburn came in second with 32%, and the dick chili and the ceramic ballet slippers pretty much tied with around 11% each.

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Who Is May’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

June 10, 2019 / Posted by:

I first need to apologize to Patty Ratburn for chopping one of her best features, her rat nose, to fit her into that composite. Although, I did spare her from inhaling the nostril hair-burning aroma of the beautiful dick chili.

That saying, “April showers brings May flowers“, works here, because every finalist in the HSOTM battle is a stunning blossom. Billy Porter’s Met Gala look is an exquisitely sparkly blossom from the garden of The Luxor in Las Vegas. The ceramic ballet shoes from the 80s are from the garden of important bedroom decorations. The chili dick is from my garden, pretty much. And Patty Ratburn is from the garden of power lesbian rats.

Like every time, the first three HSOTM finalists got the most Facebook likes. The fourth was picked by me. Your choices are:

Billy Porter’s Met Gala look, the opulent image of gold-drenched perfection that Billy Porter wore to the Met Gala while answering the question, “What would it look like if Cleopatra starred in a Las Vegas production of Angels in America?

The ceramic ballerina slippers, the pair of elegantly-crafted ceramic ballerina slippers that were the jewel of every girl’s room!

The dick chili, the chili from Firebox (a perfect name for a company that makes the perfect chili) that promises to grow in the shape of a circumcised short dick that peen-hungry rabbits will eat up before you do.

Patty Ratburn, the power lesbian rat sister of Arthur the Aardvark’s teacher, Mr. Ratburn, who shamelessly stole the show with her business woman glamour at her brother’s coming out wedding!

Voting is below! The winning HSOTM will be announced this Friday.


Pics: Wenn.com, EtsyFirebox, PBS

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April’s Hot Slut Of The Month Is….

May 13, 2019 / Posted by:

April’s Hot Slut of the Month showdown came down to two magical beings: The Utah Jazz Dandelion and Joey the Unicorn Goat. But ultimately, many of you were hypnotized by the furry basketball gorgeousness of The Utah Jazz Dandelion and cast your votes for her.

The Utah Jazz Dandelion, who tickled eyeballs with her wondrous hair helmet and brought actual excitement to a basketball game, got 40% of your votes. Joey the Unicorn Goat got 32%. The Plane-Delaying Flamingo got 14%. And so did The Denim Diaper.

The Utah Jazz Dandelion graced the people with her magnificence about three weeks ago, and she still hasn’t been identified. My guess is that she never will be and we’ll never see her again. Because she knows that us lessers weren’t worthy of taking in her brown Q-Tip beauty the first time around, but she decided to be charitable. That’s not going to happen again, because seeing stunning hair like that twice in one lifetime is even more rare than a unicorn goat sighting or a Grindr trick who says he’s got 8 and really does have 8.

Thanks to all who voted!

Pic: YouTube

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Who Is April’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

May 8, 2019 / Posted by:

Notice how they all won’t make eye-to-crotch contact with that denim diaper. It’s not a coincidence.

If you’re basing who to vote for in April’s Hot Slut of the Month battle royale on who possesses the most elegance (since an elegant site like Dlisted should have an elegant HSOTM winner), then your brain will be torn apart from trying to make a decision. Because each of this month’s HSOTM finalists are made up of equal parts elegance, magic, and gracefulness. The first three got the most Facebook likes, and the fourth was picked by me. Your choices for April are:

The Denim Diaper, the $315 pair of exquisite jean pussy stranglers from Y/Project which are the perfect way to show the world that you love to waste money and love the feeling of chaffed inner upper thighs.

The Utah Jazz Dandelion, the vision of brown cotton candy on steroids beauty who unknowingly turned a boring Utah Jazz game into a pageant of pure beauty.

The Plane-Delaying Flamingo, an attention whore flamingo who caused planes to stop when it crashed the tarmac in Mallorca, Spain and dusted the eyes of passengers with feathery glamour (basically, it won the Met Gala theme of camp a month before the Met Gala happened).

Joey, the unicorn sheep who was saved from death by two cases of beer. Need I say more?

Voting is below! The winning HSOTM will be announced on Monday, May 13th.


Pics: SSENSE, Twitter, Twitter, Facebook

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