Who Is August’s Hot Slut Of The Month?
Freya, the iconic lounging and boat-sinking walrus queen who is now lounging and sinking boats in heaven, easily won July’s Hot Slut of the Month, getting 46% of the votes. Freya may be the front runner going into next year’s HIGHLY IMPORTANT Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals, but there are still five HSOTMs to crown including August’s. The eighth HSOTM battle of 2022 has come down to a universal treasure’s gift to dogs, two pussy heroes, and an instant American icon! As always, the first three HSOTM choices got the most Facebook likes for the month, and the fourth is a wild card picked by me. Your choices for August are:
The Doggy Parton Wig, the $13 Dolly wig that’s one of the stars of Dolly Parton’s line of pet stuff called Doggy Parton. The Doggy Parton wig will go down in history as the best use of polyester hair! And any dog will wear it with glamorous pride, which is what that Chihuahua model is feeling in the pic above. Or maybe that Chihuahua is screaming “Ayúdame” with their eyes. Either or.
Bandit, the cat from Mississippi who noticed robbers trying to break in with a crowbar, and instead of listening to her chaotic evil instincts and opening the door for them with a diabolical smile, she did the opposite. Bandit woke up her human who went into the kitchen and turned on the lights, scaring off the robbers. Leave it to a cat to go against her name by taking down actual bandits!
Billy, another heroic pussy who saved his human. Billy sensed that one of his humans was going through something bad as she slept, so he woke her up by pounding on her chest with his paws. Turns out that she had a heart attack in her sleep and Billy saved her. August must unofficially be Plot Twist Month because it’s the month when two pets have pulled a Lassie and both are cats!
The Hot Dog Straw, the ingenious invention that a Yankees fan showed off during a game. If you’re not sucking beer out of a hot dog’s slit, can you even call yourself American?
Voting is below. The winning HSOTM will be crowned in this space and in Crumbs on Friday, September 30!
UPDATE: The Doggy Parton Wig was on Billy’s tail (not really) but Billy pulled through and is August’s Hot Slut of the Month champion! Thanks to all who voted.
Pics: Doggy Parton, Thomas Wells/Northeast Mississippi Daily Journal, YouTube, Twitter