If you’re thinking to yourself, “Michael, you dumb fuck, why would you use a picture of Susan Powter in a story about that brown-headed chick from Lost?“, then I need to tell you to please STOP THE INSANITY and social distance from my ass, because how dare you compare the brilliance of Susan Powter to WhatsHerName from Lost!
On March 16, Evangeline Lilly, seen above giving you Children of The Damned Mia Farrow, decided that while many in the world were doing an impersonation of me at a party (read: staying the fuck away from everyone by sitting alone in the corner while sipping my drink and petting the cat), she should let us know that she is living life like normal. Evangeline Lilly added that she lives with her dad, who has stage 4 leukemia, and her two young sons, and she too has a compromised immune system. But she’s still not going to let something that’s just a simple “respiratory flu” mess with her freedom. She also suggested it’s all a political hoax.
That went down about as well as a drunk, unsteady trick trying to give a dude a blowjob in the bathroom of a bar at 1:30 in the morning while holding onto a drink (I may or may not be typing that from experience). Many shook their heads in disgust at Evangeline’s post including Sophie Turner and Evangeline’s Lost co-star Maggie Grace.
Part of me thought that Evangeline would never apologize and would continue to hug people freely while ignoring the six feet rule in the name of DEFYING THE MAN. But that part of me forgot that she probably relies on a Disney check to pay her bills. And well, Evangeline is here to tell you she’s sowwy.
“Lost” Star Daniel Dae Kim Has Tested Positive For COVID-19 And Evangeline Lilly Refuses To Self-Isolate
If you were a fan of Lost, like most fans, you probably loved Daniel Dae Kim’s character Jin-Soo Kwan and low-key hated Evangeline Lilly’s character, Kate Austin. Jin was heroic and brave, and Kate was stubborn and whiny. Well guess what, that’s kind of true in real life as both actors have shown in their responses to the coronavirus. Sadly for Daniel, he’s actually tested positive for the virus. So the danger and severity of the situation we’re all in, is very real and personal for him. As it should be for Evangeline, who is currently immunocompromised and lives with her father who has stage 4 leukemia. But Evangeline don’t curr. She posted on Instagram that she values her freedom over her life (and presumably the lives of her loved ones) and refuses to isolate herself or her children. Daniel, on the other hand, posted his coronavirus news on Instagram with a message of love and unity, and urged people to follow the guidelines to help stop the spread of the virus. So yeah, tropical polar bears don’t seem quite as crazy as they used to.
God bless ya if you’ve been able to keep up with all the fucking Avengers running around here these days. Just looking at the poster for the upcoming Avengers: Endgame movie takes so much concentration. I keep thinking I’m supposed to eventually see a sailboat or some shit. It’s a mess, and it gives me a throbbing, Thanos’ dick-sized migraine. But the poster isn’t nearly as much of a mess as the red carpet for last night’s premiere of Avengers: Endgame: Too Many Spidermen. Not only was every Groot, Korg and Kraglin Obfonteri from the movies there, all the Marvel universe TV characters were there too. It must have been the least exclusive guest list to hit Hollywood since the premiere of Gotti. I mean, they even let Colin Jost in!
“Lost” creators J.J. Abrams and Damon Lindelof would like to clear the air regarding Evangeline Lilly. Primarily, they would like to address the bad experiences she reported over being asked to do nudity on the set of Lost. For that, they are sorry. Secondarily, they would like me to know that Evangeline goes by Evie, not Ms. Vangie as previously reported. For that, I am not sorry.
If you hated Kate on Lost, you’re not alone. Evangeline Lilly also hated Kate on Lost. Errybody hates Kate! Evangeline recently appeared on The Lost Boys podcast and talked mad shit about Kate Austin, the character she played for 6 seasons on Lost. She also talked about a couple of bad experiences she had on the show, which explain why you won’t be seeing her titties on the screen anytime in the near future.