Disney is apparently working on a live-action remake of 1997’s Hercules. Um, no offense, Mickey Mouse, but DUH, BITCH. Mulan is coming out soon, The Little Mermaid is set for next year, Bambi will follow. And Tangled, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Robin Hood, and Lilo & Stitch are all getting the live-action treatment too. What else is left? The Princess and the Frog? Frozen? Song of the South? Errr, maybe not that last one.
One might assume that famed German documentarian Werner Herzog’s tastes probably skew pretty highbrow. I mean he’s an 77-year-old award-winning filmmaker, and he has an accent! It’s not like he’s the type of guy to be staying up late at night watching WrestleMania and Keeping Up With The Kardashians. However, according to a new interview in Variety, that’s exactly the type of guy he is. Only while he’s doing it, he’s also pondering the cultural significance of the vulgarity before his eyes and measuring the impact of Kim’s ass against the fiery miasma of a world shifting meteorite as it plunges to Earth, laden as it is, in its essential molecules, with the hopes and dreams and an alien race we shall never meet. At least I think that’s what he said.
God bless ya if you’ve been able to keep up with all the fucking Avengers running around here these days. Just looking at the poster for the upcoming Avengers: Endgame movie takes so much concentration. I keep thinking I’m supposed to eventually see a sailboat or some shit. It’s a mess, and it gives me a throbbing, Thanos’ dick-sized migraine. But the poster isn’t nearly as much of a mess as the red carpet for last night’s premiere of Avengers: Endgame: Too Many Spidermen. Not only was every Groot, Korg and Kraglin Obfonteri from the movies there, all the Marvel universe TV characters were there too. It must have been the least exclusive guest list to hit Hollywood since the premiere of Gotti. I mean, they even let Colin Jost in!
At last night’s L.A. premiere of Spider-Man: Homecoming, Hannibal Buress, who plays Coach Wilson in it, walked the red carpet and did some interviews. The only problem is, despite what that lower third super would lead you to believe, that’s not Hannibal Buress, obviously.
Mufasa lives! Or, rather, Mufasa will live AGAIN, until that catty queen Scar engineers his tragic death in a live-action film, The Lion King.
Director Jon Favreau, fresh off his live-action The Jungle Book, is giving Simba, Pumbaa, Rafiki, and those angel-dusted hyenas the similar treatment (there are no original ideas in Hollywood). Jon revealed the voice-casting of Donald Glover as Simba, and Mufasa himself, James Earl Jones, via Twitter this week.