Well, now I get why Ben Affleck wasn’t feeling very festive at the Grammys, and it had nothing to do with his relationship with Jennifer Lopez. I have just watched the trailer for Ben’s upcoming film Air, which he directed and which stars his work wife, Matt Damon, and if you had put your heart and soul into the work, and even went so far as to give yourself the same Ogilvie Home Perm my mom used to rock back in the day, and this was the result? Well, then, you’d look miserable too. The movie is about two Nike bros who save the ailing company by exploiting Michael Jordan’s popularity. I know Viola Davis, who plays MJ’s mom in this, looked perfectly happy at the Grammys, but she probably only had to roll through for a couple of hours for her scenes. She’s not that invested, and why should she be? She already done had herses (EGOT). So naturally she wasn’t clenching her ass cheeks all night waiting for the trailer about the other shoe to drop. But Ben earned his misery fair and square.
James Cameron Laughs At Matt Damon Losing Out On $250 Million By Not Being A Part Of The First “Avatar”
Back in the day, Matt Damon was supposed to be in the first Avatar movie, but he couldn’t make it work because he had to do the final Bourne film. Because of it, he missed out on a huge payout since Avatar went on to make more than $2 billion and would have earned Matt a payday in the hundreds of millions from percentage earnings. Since the sequel, Avatar: The Way Of Water, is out now, director James Cameron is busy doing all the press about it and also thanking himself for representing women so amazingly. During the press rounds, he was asked about Matt’s joke that he’ll go down in history as the actor who turned down the most money in the world. James’ thoughts? “Get over it!”–which is probably the same thing Matt’s daughter told him when he had to stop saying the F-slur.
Matt Damon Talked About The Time Kennedy Center Honoree, George Clooney, Shit In Richard Kind’s Cat’s Litter Box
The 45th Annual Kennedy Center Honors already happened earlier this month, and those who’ve given us a lifetime of contributions in the entertainment arena, like U2 and George Clooney, were some of this year’s honorees. And if by “lifetime contributions” they meant “your iTunes is still fucked all the way up and always will be for the rest of your lifetime by the unsolicited disbursal of U2’s Songs of Innocence album,” then yeah, I guess U2 qualifies. But not to be outdone by U2’s tomfoolery, honoree, and one of the “world’s most handsome men,” George Clooney also did some shady shit in his storied time in the biz–literally. While giving a speech about his good friend, George, Matt Damon’s KCH speech touched on the time that George took a big girthy dump in fellow actor Richard Kind’s kitty litter box back in the day when they were roommates. Stars–they’re just like us!
It’s not like Ben Affleck and Matt Damon wrote one popular movie and suddenly had the keys to the castle handed to them so they could go forth and prosper unhindered as Hollywood elites. That shit took hard work and a lot of ups and downs over the years. First, they had to collectively agree which one of them was going to be the hot one and which was going to be the smart one, and they still haven’t figured that shit out yet (shhh, don’t tell them neither of them are either)! Ben recently sat down with his buddy Matt for an interview for Entertainment Weekly and after spending the first quarter blowing air kisses at George Clooney’s ass and trading frat boy barbs, Ben got Batman serious talking about how sad he was that Gigli, the movie he starred in opposite his pop star girlfriend at the time, Jennifer Lopez, flopped because people saw him as “some callow frat guy who’s cavalier, or has too much.” My, how things have changed. Jennifer’s not just a pop star anymore, she’s a vocalist now!
Matt Damon strikes again. The man who brought you amazing thoughts such as, “I just stopped saying the f-word,” and “There are levels to sexual harassment,” has a new one for you: “Invest in cryptocurrency.” Twitter has just discovered Matt’s ad for Crypto.com, which started airing in October. In the ad, they compare investing in crypto to climbing a mountain and rocketing into the galaxy on a spaceship. And you know what, he’s right! Like with those two activities, investing in Crypto can go drastically sideways.
Ridley Scott directed two big movies that came out this year: House of Mario Bros. Gucci which is out this week, and The Last Duel, which was released on October 15. Well, change the name from The Last Duel to “The Most Recent Flop” because it tanked at the box office. The film starred Matt Damon and Adam Driver who enter a duel to the death after Jodie Comer‘s character accuses Adam’s character of rape. Audiences did not pour into theaters to watch a period piece about a woman’s sexual assault and Ridley thinks he knows why. Ridley believes his movie tanked because millennials love using their phones… or something.