One of my greatest fears outside of the mortifying ordeal of being known is being lost at sea. I’ve never seen Jaws, but I’m convinced I’d be a sunburnt meal for some hungry great whites. Hence why I playfully splash on the beach and never venture out into the water past my waist. The Great British Bake Off’s Prue Leith could have used my sage advice when it came to hanging out by the ocean. While holidaying in the Mediterranean Sea, her motorboat gave out, and she was set adrift!
Yesterday, I posted about Bam Margera going missing after leaving a Florida rehab center that he was court-ordered to attend. Everyone can breathe a sigh of relief/un-clutch their enormous, chunky douchebro crucifixes; the Jackass star/skateboarder/nightmare of a son was located last night and has been safely taken back to rehab.
26-year-old Kane Brown is a successful singer who recently bought 30 acres of land in Tennessee. After deciding to explore his new land, Kane got all kinds of lost and he and his friends had to get bailed out by the police and were even shot at by mystery assailants! Well, at least he now knows to avoid the forest-people who live in the woods behind his property since they’ll shoot him on sight.
“Lost” Star Daniel Dae Kim Has Tested Positive For COVID-19 And Evangeline Lilly Refuses To Self-Isolate
If you were a fan of Lost, like most fans, you probably loved Daniel Dae Kim’s character Jin-Soo Kwan and low-key hated Evangeline Lilly’s character, Kate Austin. Jin was heroic and brave, and Kate was stubborn and whiny. Well guess what, that’s kind of true in real life as both actors have shown in their responses to the coronavirus. Sadly for Daniel, he’s actually tested positive for the virus. So the danger and severity of the situation we’re all in, is very real and personal for him. As it should be for Evangeline, who is currently immunocompromised and lives with her father who has stage 4 leukemia. But Evangeline don’t curr. She posted on Instagram that she values her freedom over her life (and presumably the lives of her loved ones) and refuses to isolate herself or her children. Daniel, on the other hand, posted his coronavirus news on Instagram with a message of love and unity, and urged people to follow the guidelines to help stop the spread of the virus. So yeah, tropical polar bears don’t seem quite as crazy as they used to.
At last, we have a national crisis that doesn’t involve the potential loss of life, the unraveling of a nation, or any criminal activity more serious than possible petty theft. Lenny Kravitz has lost his sunglasses (I inadvertently just typed his name as “Lenny Sunglasses” and that’s what we should all call him moving forward). Lenny #TookToTwitter with a plea for help in finding his lost sunnies which came up missing after a recent gig. It seems like Lenny’s always losing track of things at gigs. Jesus, he’d probably lose his dick if it wasn’t attached to him!