Category: Elvira
Elvira Gave Brad Pitt Some Free Good Press By Saying That He Let An Elderly Neighbor Live Rent-Free On His Estate
Brad Pitt recently sold his Los Angeles compound of 30 years for $40 million. It was the home base for Brad, Angelina Jolie, and their child army. With this $40 million sale also comes an unexpected gift, some free good press from Cassandra Peterson, aka Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, who once owned the house Brad turned into a compound. She says Brad was a lovely man, as she moved into another nearby house and became his neighbor. And while Brad was buying up all the houses around him, he allowed an elderly man to live on his property for free until the man’s death. Aww! And you know Brad really meant it. Because, as we know from his shitty Make It Right homes in New Orleans, if Brad wanted someone with health issues out of the house, he allegedly knows how to do it.
Brad Pitt Unloaded His Hollywood Home Of 30 Years For Nearly $40 Million
Hollywood’s not going to have Brad Pitt to kick around anymore. He’s outta here! Dirt reports that Brad’s bespoke Los Feliz estate has sold to an undisclosed buyer for $39 million and change. Brad’s owned the property for three decades, and it was the childhood home of the six kids he shares(ed?) with Angelina Jolie. Considering that a witch once lived there, I imagine it’s haunted by many memories he’s all too happy to forget. What a fool. If I lived in a house where Elvira once hid in the closet, I’d never leave!
Brad Pitt, Who Is Not Worried About The Age Gap In His New Relationship, Put His LA Compound On The Market For $40 Million
As Brad Pitt magnanimously awaits a peaceful resolution to his custody dispute with Angelina Jolie, he appears to be taking stock of where life has brought him thus far, and found it lacking, if not in wealth, perhaps in meaning. According to People, Brad has “quietly listed” his Los Feliz home of 30 years for $40 million. What good is a sprawling compound if you have no one with which to share its bounty? What good is a swimming pool, tennis court and skating rink on 1.9 acres in a dense urban enclave to a divorced dad of six whose only true goal in life is to be loved (by the HFPA et al)? When does “real property” become a painful specter of all that’s been lost, and all your heart truly yearns for, is all that’s yet to be found? When one is stripped of the trappings of fame and fortune, all that remains is the truth.
Open Post: Hosted By Elvira Revealing That Madonna Hit On Her Girlfriend Back In The Day
In case anyone mistakenly thought that Madonna kissing Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera back at the 2003 VMA’s and her recent Instagram posts full of tonguing women and pantomiming cunnilingus was just an attention grab and that she doesn’t actually wade in the lady-pond, she might have come out as gay in her panty-tossing TikTok the other day. But if there was still any doubt, “Mistress of the Dark,” Cassandra “Elvira” Peterson confirmed that Madonna’s been into women for a long time, sharing that years ago, Madonna hit on her current girlfriend.
Cassandra Peterson, AKA Elvira, Mistress Of The Dark, Has Come Out
70(!!!!!)-year-old Cassandra Peterson, who has played the iconic Elvira, Mistress of the Dark since 1981, has come out! In her new memoir, Yours Cruelly, Elvira, Cassandra revealed a 19-year relationship with Teresa “T” Wierson. Looks like that coffin where Elvira sleeps isn’t the only box that she likes being inside of. BA-DUMP-BUMP! But seriously, Pride Month has now been extended all the way to Halloween thanks to this happy news.
Open Post: Hosted By Elvira’s Musical Plea To Not Cancel Halloween!
According to Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, conditions for this year’s Halloween are supposed to be perfect. It’s on a Saturday, the weather is supposed to be nice (I guess…for the entire world?), and it’s a goddamn full moon. Also? It’s a few days before an election. People neeeed to blow off steam! But, once again, that betch Corona V. has ruined everything. A bunch of cities and communities have banned trick-or-treating, and obviously big, drunk parties are a pandemic no-no. Sigh. It’s right, but it’s not okay.
So Elvira is appealing to… I dunno, the government (?) to not cancel her favorite night of the year. She made a music video set to Madonna’s Holiday to plead her case. It’s a spooktacular green screen experience with our gal’s trademark titties, coronavirus graphics, and dancing Tiger Kings (played by Elvira herself). Continue reading