Category: I’m Just Going To Pretend I Didn’t See A Tag In Here For “Martha Stewart Eats Pussy” And Move On
Martha Stewart Critiqued Chelsea Handler’s Copycat Pool Pic
Martha Stewart didn’t need a shank made from a filed down toothbrush when she was locked up in bougie-prison. She had an array of ceramicist’s tools which were probably dull compared to the shank that lives inside her mouth. And Martha’s still using that sharp tongue of hers to assert her dominance, only instead of using it to become the untouchable queen of Alderson Federal Prison Camp’s arts and crafts room, she’s using it to take down thirst trap copy cats with inferior swimming pools. Chelsea Handler attempted to recreate Martha’s recent swimming pool selfie which, according to TMZ, “delighted fans across the globe.” No surprise, Martha was not impressed.
Martha Stewart Offered Felicity Huffman Some Fashion Advice, Ex-Con To Con
Martha Stewart really is the type of gangster who would greet you with an artistically arranged autumnal bouquet she harvested from her own orchard in one hand, and a shank made from a filed down late Victorian pewter fish knife in the other. Martha and the recently incarcerated Felicity Huffman have more in common than having slept more than one night on sub 800 thread count sheets while doing time. Both also have impressive cardigan collections, and were probably raised to never leave the house looking a hot mess. Well, Martha thinks Felicity needs to remember her upbringing and extend that directive to never leaving the Big House looking a mess either.