Night Crumbs
There’s a teaser trailer for the Sydney-less Scream 6, and in it, Ghostface takes Manhattan and terrorizes the subway. Okay, but Ghostface isn’t the most terrifying thing on the subway. That title will forever belong to someone sloppily eating a messy egg salad sandwich in a packed car – Pajiba
Oh, I see that Adam Driver did a huge renovation on his house, and it cost a fucking lot. Okay, I don’t know that for a fact, but that’s one of the only explanations I can come up with for why his thespian ass took a check for doing 65, an action movie where he plays a pilot who has to fight dinosaurs after accidentally time-traveling to the prehistoric era. I can’t totally hate, though, since it looks like the kind of Amazon Prime movie I’d drunkenly watch at 1 AM on a Saturday – Just Jared
“Everything Everywhere All At Once” Leads The Nominations For The 2023 Critics Choice Awards
Choices, choices, choices! When did there get to be so many choices? Earlier this month at the People’s Choice Awards, the People had their say and chose Mariska Hargitay to get upstaged by Kathy Hilton and Olivia Wilde’s nipples. And now it’s time for the Critics to nominate their choices for future choosing at the 2023 Critics Choice Awards. And maybe because the Critics are canonically more critical than the People, they’ve chosen Everything Everywhere All at Once over Olivia’s nipples, which along with Don’t Worry Darling, were left out of the choices for future choosing altogether. Why, in my day, three white men with cigars in a secret Hollywood backroom made all the choices over the flayed body of a virgin sacrifice, but nowadays, it seems, everybody gets to choose!
King Charles Reportedly Has No Plans To Strip Prince Harry And Meghan Markle’s Titles
Since THE QUEEN passed in September, there’s been a lot of talk about whether or not King Charles would strip Prince Harry and Meghan Markle of their titles. No more Duke and Duchess of Sussex, just Royal Wild Card #1 and Royal Wild Card #2. But even though the couple’s recent Netflix docuseries and Harry’s upcoming tell-all memoir haven’t helped mend their broken relationship with the King, a royal expert tells Page Six that taking away the titles is “not something the king would likely ever consider.” Apparently, it would seem “petty and punitive.” Silly me, after watching Charles freak out over a leaky pen, I assumed “petty and punitive” would be the hallmarks of his reign.
Will Smith Did A “Red Table Talk Takeover” And Discussed Dropping Weight After His Dad Bod Went Viral And Getting Unexpectedly Spat On By One Of His “Emancipation” Co-Stars
Most people who put the smackdown on someone on stage at a formal televised public event forever immortalized on the internet for millions and millions to gawk at for eternity might consider taking a beat (heyyo!) to fade into the background and self-reflect without a mistrustful audience. Will Smith isn’t “most people,” though, and recently he’s been trying to make Will Smith happen again by crying on The Daily Show and now doing a Red Table Talk takeover as he tries to snatch that Oscar for his upcoming film, Emancipation. And though Will isn’t even allowed to attend an Oscar ceremony for the next decade if he does snag a nomination, he talked about the extreme measures he took for the role, which included losing weight after a 2021 picture of his dad bod went viral and getting surprise-spat on by one of his co-stars.
Open Post: Hosted By Jennifer Aniston’s Holiday Party For The “Old Guard Of Hollywood”
Unlike most people who have parties and post everything from their first guest arriving to when they’re drunkenly placed in an Uber, Jennifer Aniston prefers to keep things a little more private. This year Jen hosted a holiday party for all of her Hollywood friends who are part of the “old guard.” No, she didn’t use a Ouija board to summon the ghosts of Clark Gable and Elizabeth Taylor. The “old guard” we’re talking about here includes Courteney Cox and Reese Witherspoon. And during this gathering of geriatrics (by Hollywood standards, of course), most of Jen’s guests left their cell phones in their pockets to enjoy an evening of fun that was for all of her “non-thirsty” friends.
Nicolas Cage Thought He Was An Alien As A Child
Forget the Lohanaissance! Now that Nicolas Cage has paid off his debts to the IRS, he no longer has to say yes to every stinker script that gets stuffed in his mailbox. But just cuz Nicolas is back to starring in movies that actually appear in theaters, it doesn’t mean he’s suddenly gonna go mainstream. Nope, Nic is still a loud and proud weirdo. See: his recent interview with Rampstyle magazine, in which Nic shares that he was so socially awkward as a child he convinced himself he was an alien. It would explain a few things…