Lately, HBO Max has been busy with taking an ax to several shows and a Magic Eraser to others, and they were at it again yesterday. They removed all episodes of Westworld (which they shit-canned last month) and The Nevers. And they canceled Love Life and Minx. The news is extra shitty for Minx because they’re currently wrapping up filming on season two. The plan is to finish season two and then shop the show around to other streamers. HBO Max will also remove season one of Minx from its platform. If you don’t know, Minx is about a feminist writer who joins forces with a porn publisher to create the first erotic magazine for women in the 70s, and the first season was a prosthetic peen wonderland! It probably single-crotchedly kept the fake dong industry alive. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go off and Google “details and location for HBO’s rubber dick fire sale.”  – Deadline

Cut to Christina Ricci reenacting Nicole Kidman’s “exploding with joy after finalizing divorce from Tom Cruise” pap pics because she is officially divorced from her allegedly abusive ex – Extra

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Come Christmastime, it’s Mariah Carey’s world, and we’re just livin’ in it. 28 years after its initial release, the Elusive Chanteuse’s 1994 classic “All I Want for Christmas Is You” has once again hit #1 on the Billboard Hot 100. This is the fourth year in a row. It’s great news for the ***UNOFFICIAL*** Queen of Christmas, who’s halfway through her holiday revue mini-tour, “Merry Christmas To All!” Mariah did two dates in Toronto over the weekend and is heading to Madison Square Garden for two more shows this week. The MSG concert will be filmed and broadcast on CBS next Tuesday. Now, you may be saying, “Big whoop, I’ve seen Mariah do Christmas songs before!” And that may be true, but have you seen her duet with daughter Monroe? No? Then you’re in for a (probably lip-synched) early Christmas gift!

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Back in September, Dua Lipa and Trevor Noah were spotted hugging and kissing on the street after an intimate dinner in the West Village. Since then? Nada. And now, over two months later, Page Six is reporting that Dua and Jack Harlow are a thing! This pairing may seem random, but, actually, it makes perfect sense. Jack’s latest album, Come Home, The Kids Miss You (Pitchfork called it “among the most insipid, vacuous statements in recent pop history”), features a song called “Dua Lipa”. It’s about how he wants to date Dua. Does Dua want to date Jack? Doesn’t matter. It’s like a public marriage proposal. You sorta have to say “um, suuure” to appease the masses.

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I think we can now safely call Drake a “confirmed bachelor” without anybody getting bent out of shape about the historical implications of that designation since Drake himself is the one going out of his way to remind us that nobody is ever gonna wanna marry Him?  Page Six reports that Drake has teamed up with custom jewelry designer to the stars and probable inspiration for Adam Sandler’s character in Uncut Gems, Alex Moss, to create a necklace called “Previous Engagements,” which is made from 42 enormous diamonds that weren’t big enough to fill the gaping hole in his heart, or, sadder yet, even get a stripper to bite.

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Despite Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber quitting each other’s dysfunctional asses ages ago, controversy still continues to break out on account of “Jelena.” This time, five whole years after the breakup, someone made a TikTok about why Selena was “always skinny” when she was with Justin. And according to the video, no, the reasoning wasn’t because Hollywood is a toxic superficial cesspool, or because she was literally a teenager back then, or because it’s her body and she wanted to be, or because she was suffering from multiple illnesses that resulted in needing an eventual (now contentious) donated kidney from her (ex?) friend or all of the above–but because Selena left one comment on Instagram a while back that Justin would “rather models,” and she’s “too normal.”  And either Selena agrees that Justin was the reason or is annoyed at the TikToker for implying he was or for making a TikTok about her weight at all because she left an ambiguous sad face emoji in the comment section of the video, and now everyone’s even more confused than before.

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