Couples where one partner loves to get loud, and the other is oriented toward quiet contemplation are frequently well-matched. Two loudmouths (J Rod) are annoying, and two church mice (BenAnana) are a snooze. And Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez always seem to strike the perfect balance between homebody (Hims) and home entertainment center (Herses). But what works in private doesn’t always work as well out in public, as evidenced by Ben’s over-it demeanor at last night’s Grammy Awards. According to Page Six, Jen’s customary high pitch(y) energy was no match for the raw, atomic power of Ben’s signature thousand-yard stare. Therefore it was Ben alone, sans Ennifer,  who “became the night’s viral sensation.” Typical that the man just has to sit there looking “miserable” while the woman does all the work of sitting there looking beautiful #JOBEAUTY, #OnTheJLo, #HimsAndHerses #2ndTimeAround #ExclusivelyAtTarget.

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Last night at the Grammys, everyone was waiting to see if Beyoncé would make history by becoming the artist with the most awards in its 65-year history. And if anyone thought that she wouldn’t they’re fools because we all know the Grammys are just a popularity contest at this point. Since there’s no one more popular than Beyoncé she flexed her star power by taking her time getting to the ceremony and completely missed her first award of the evening. But that’s probably because she was still at home practicing her looks of “shock and awe” for when she won the award that actually mattered.

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In a time when we can almost always find ways to disagree on the most trivial of issues, I find comfort in knowing the majority of us (aside from Kelly Rowland; Lizzo; and for some reason, the people who keep nominating him for awards) can come together to agree that Chris Brown has remained the actual worst for well over a decade. He’s shown no growth. Yet, he’s somehow managed to remain in the pop culture lexicon, and his album, Breezy (Deluxe), was just nominated for Best R&B Album at last night’s Grammys. But Chris lost to Robert Glasper, who also beat Mary J. Blige, Lucky Daye, and PJ Morton to claim the trophy for his album, Black Radio III. It should be shocking to no one that Chris acted like a sore Chris Brown loser and took to his Instagram Stories several times to take several Chris Browns shits on Robert.

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If you woke up this morning and logged onto social media, you may have noticed that one Harry Styles is now Public Enemy #1 of the BeyHive after last night’s 65th annual Grammy Awards. Beyoncé picked up wins last night bu was snubbed for the coveted Album of the Year award, as Harry’s House somehow beat out Renaissance and the Hive is in a frenzy. But honestly, so should anyone with ears.

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It’s almost Valentine’s Day. And you know what that means. For couples, forget about it until the actual day and then panic buy some limp flowers or cologne at Marshall’s. For the newly single, it’s a time of angst and woe. When CVS is decked out in pink M&Ms and giant red teddy bears, consumerism makes it hard to ignore that you’re alone this year because of your stupid ex. Rather than mope at the bar or slash the tires of a Toyota Camry, why not inscribe their name on a cat’s toilet? An Ohio animal shelter offers this service to fundraise and, more importantly, help the heartbroken by letting them be petty!

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