This is our fault. We did this to ourselves. At some point we’re going to have to take responsibility for ourselves as a country and accept the premise that it is, in fact, a shit hole ruled by oligarchs, grifters, charlatans, and DJs with Marshmello heads, and hopefully, commit to making the changes necessary to rectify that. Otherwise, all is lost. Even if Forbes’ Celebrity 100: The World’s Highest Paid Celebrities list is a dubious distinction, we have to admit that even if their formula is about as scientifically sound as the teachings of Dianetics, it does say a lot about what we value as a culture. And right now it’s saying we value Kylie Jenner the most. She earned $560 million. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but 2020 will do strange things to a person—Taylor Swift was ROBBED! Last year’s #1 dropped to #25 ($63.5M) and Kanye West scooted into Kylie’s former #2 slot with $170M.
They did it. They really did it. Despite the best efforts of producers, “fans“, and that hateful Jennifer Garner, Ana de Armas and Ben Affleck are finally taking their relationship to the next level. Ana is moving into Ben’s place in the Pacific Palisades. This means their quarantine co-habitation wasn’t official until now.
Ben was spotted helping his soulmate move her shit out of her Venice home on Tuesday. Sigh, I’ll miss that place. It’s where Ben scaled the fence when they got locked out, where he yelled at that photographer to leave them alone (LOL), and it’s where she placed that dumb cardboard cutout of herself to troll the paps. Memories of their blossoming love. Continue reading
RIP @ArmasUpdates. One of the only bright spots in this dark-sided timeline has been extinguished. According to Vulture, the Ana de Armas stan account of record has mysteriously been deactivated. Sure there are other Twitter accounts dedicated to updating us on the daily whereabouts of Ana, and by extension Elvis, Salsa, and Ben Affleck, but none offer the same pithy observations and gentle ribbing of Twitter’s preeminent ADA update account. It’s like we already know Ana is “the prettiest girl on earth” @BestOfdeArmas, we have eyes! But is she finally wearing a mask and how long did she and Ben have to wait for their Dunkin order?!?
As you sit there preparing to tuck into a can of beans you heated up over a flaming barrel fire fueled with the last stick of a broken down dining room chair and a volume of out-of-date encyclopedias, try to remember— things could be worse. At least you have beans. Just not as many beans as Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has. He earned $87.5 million dollars this year making him the highest-paid actor of 2020 according to Forbes.
Ben Affleck Has Reportedly Been Banned From Attending The “No Time To Die” Premiere With Ana De Armas
47-year-old Ben Affleck and 32-year-old Ana de Armas have turned coronavirus into a show, honey! They did not let a little lockdown take away from their time to grab attention. They’ve gone for pap strolls, pap strolls with his children, made out in music videos, got matching jewelry, looked at expensive houses together, went to protests. They have been busy. But there’s one place they will not be allowed to pose for photographers and that’s the premiere of the new Bond movie, No Time To Die, which Ana is in. After its original release date in April was pushed back, No Time To Die is scheduled to come out November 20 (but we’ll see what coronavirus has to say about that) and whenever the premiere happens, Ben will be blacklisted from it. Oh well, she’ll just have to walk the red carpet with her dog Salsa instead, which we can all agree is a better option.
The Saviors of Summer, Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas, haven’t been papped together in what seems like months but has actually only been a couple of weeks. However, that means it’s been roughly seven BenAna years. As we know, a lot can happen in a single BenAna. Children are met and paraded, houses are toured and rejected, stunts are stunted, masks are lost and found and gallons of Dunkin’s are drunkin’. And so, in the span of seven BenAnas, the unthinkable happened—Ana went and found herself a new bitch. Over the weekend Ana posted a picture of her newest family member on Instagram, a little dog named Salsa.