Please hold some space in your heart today for Ben Affeck and Jennifer Lopez’ real estate agents; it’s hard out here for a property pimp. TMZ reports that Ben and Jen have fallen out of escrow, for a third time in a year, on the $64 million Pacific Palisades mansion they decided to buy just couple of weeks ago. Maybe the recent rains in southern California revealed cracks in the foundation. Of the house! The house, people! Ben and Jen are more in love today than they were 13 days ago when they signed the contracts. But for whatever reason, it’s back to scouring Craigslist or however they do it, because their search for a Perfect 10 continues.
Perpetual House Hunters Ben Affleck And Jennifer Lopez Fell Out Of Escrow On A $34.5M Pacific Palisades Home
Marriages and couple’s tattoos are merely fleeting, temporary symbols of love. But joint home ownership takes real commitment, and even though Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez are more deeply in love than any couple has ever been at any point in human history, they still can’t seem to work up the nerve to hold hands and “jump the curb,” as they say. Even serial playboy Pete Davidson is laughing at their hesitation to make it official in the eyes of the State of California Franchise Tax board.
Nobody with eyes (or ears) is ever going to doubt Jennifer Lopez’s commitment; be it to an aesthetic (sexy lady), a brand (Herses), a bit (TL4E) or her (current) relationship. So it should be no surprise that JLo used the Valentine’s Day holiday to reinforce all her commitments at once by sharing herses new couple’s tattoos with hubby Ben Affleck, dispelling any suggestion of trouble in paradise. If Ben proposed she gets a phoenix back piece to match his, then he doesn’t know Jen like we know Jen. JLo kept it cute with “an arrow piercing an infinity sign made up of her and Ben’s names” on her ribs (please nobody tell her Shotgun Wedding costar-for-a-day Armie Hammer!), according to E! News. And Ben got one of crossed arrows “with the couple’s first initials” I think, in his armpit.
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez‘s Dunkin’ Donuts Super Bowl commercial was teased ahead of its release during the big game and when it came on, I’m not gonna lie to you, I giggled. Just a bit! Just a little; seeing that glint in Ben’s eye as he was finally in a location that brought him joy made me smile after seeing him want to perform seppuku at the Grammys the week previous. And that smile might not just be from Ben being in his natural habitat of a Dunkin; Bennifer also earned shit tons of money for the ad. Ben showing up in a half-minute commercial reportedly earned him over $10 million. So cute how cosplaying a drive-thru worker earns millions but the actual workers can’t pay rent!!!
Couples where one partner loves to get loud, and the other is oriented toward quiet contemplation are frequently well-matched. Two loudmouths (J Rod) are annoying, and two church mice (BenAnana) are a snooze. And Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez always seem to strike the perfect balance between homebody (Hims) and home entertainment center (Herses). But what works in private doesn’t always work as well out in public, as evidenced by Ben’s over-it demeanor at last night’s Grammy Awards. According to Page Six, Jen’s customary high pitch(y) energy was no match for the raw, atomic power of Ben’s signature thousand-yard stare. Therefore it was Ben alone, sans Ennifer, who “became the night’s viral sensation.” Typical that the man just has to sit there looking “miserable” while the woman does all the work of sitting there looking beautiful #JOBEAUTY, #OnTheJLo, #HimsAndHerses #2ndTimeAround #ExclusivelyAtTarget.
Just because Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are married now doesn’t mean that she’s not going to milk their love, both past, and present, for some attention. JLo already announced that she’s doing a follow-up to her album This Is Me…Then called This Is Me…Now, and it’ll be inspired by her love with Ben. And now, she may be preparing a relaunch of another Bennifer 1.0 classic: the “film” Gigli. Jennifer suggests/jokes/teases/threatens to Vogue that the movie she’d love to make a sequel to is the box office and critical disaster Gigli.