Couples where one partner loves to get loud, and the other is oriented toward quiet contemplation are frequently well-matched. Two loudmouths (J Rod) are annoying, and two church mice (BenAnana) are a snooze. And Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez always seem to strike the perfect balance between homebody (Hims) and home entertainment center (Herses). But what works in private doesn’t always work as well out in public, as evidenced by Ben’s over-it demeanor at last night’s Grammy Awards. According to Page Six, Jen’s customary high pitch(y) energy was no match for the raw, atomic power of Ben’s signature thousand-yard stare. Therefore it was Ben alone, sans Ennifer, who “became the night’s viral sensation.” Typical that the man just has to sit there looking “miserable” while the woman does all the work of sitting there looking beautiful #JOBEAUTY, #OnTheJLo, #HimsAndHerses #2ndTimeAround #ExclusivelyAtTarget.
One pooch named Dolly was determined to stay up past her bedtime but she was just not able to hold it together and almost fell over. She was like Michael Bolton getting interviewed. Dolly’s human posted about how Dolly was trying to cuddle up to her parents but was just too pooped from her long day of dog business. Running after balls, barking at noises at the door, licking your own asshole; it takes energy. That’s why Piers Morgan always looks so tired.
Kanye West’s not giving up without a fight! The AP reports that I’m tired. So very tired. Like every bone in my body is individually smashing that snooze button from dawn to dusk tired. After getting booted off the ballot in Ohio, Kanye decided to sue Ohio Secretary of State, Republican Frank LaRose in protest. He’s also, according to TMZ, launching a full court press in Arizona, no matter the cost, to ensure his name appears on the ballot in that state. Aren’t you tired? This shit be tiring as hell. I think one of my proximal phalanges just gave up and died.