Category: Valentine’s Day

Tom Brady Posted A “Cryptic” Valentine’s Day Message And Says He’ll Lay Off On Posting Thirst Traps On Social Media

February 14, 2023 / Posted by:

Since he’s no longer in the NFL, we can’t really keep telling Tom Brady to shut up and play ball. After rubbing elbows with The Four Horsewomen of the GuyFieripocalypse in 80 for Brady, he’s too powerful now. All we can do is helplessly sit back and watch as his post-post-retirement post-divorce life plays out on the big Jumbo-tron in the sky we call the internet, and pray for a blackout.

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Open Post: Hosted By An Ohio Animal Shelter That Will Name A Litter Box After Your Ex For Valentine’s Day

February 5, 2023 / Posted by:

It’s almost Valentine’s Day. And you know what that means. For couples, forget about it until the actual day and then panic buy some limp flowers or cologne at Marshall’s. For the newly single, it’s a time of angst and woe. When CVS is decked out in pink M&Ms and giant red teddy bears, consumerism makes it hard to ignore that you’re alone this year because of your stupid ex. Rather than mope at the bar or slash the tires of a Toyota Camry, why not inscribe their name on a cat’s toilet? An Ohio animal shelter offers this service to fundraise and, more importantly, help the heartbroken by letting them be petty!

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Open Post: Hosted By The Woman Whose Valentine’s Lotto Ticket Gift Was A $10 Million Winner

February 20, 2022 / Posted by:

Maria Chicas got the surprise of her life on Valentine’s Day after getting a lotto ticket from her husband on Valentine’s Day. No, she wasn’t shocked because he gave her a LOTTO TICKET AS GIFT, but because this particular ticket was worth $10 million dollars! It’s easy to forgive people for their crappy gifts when you’re a millionaire!

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Open Post: Hosted By Ben Affleck’s Valentine’s Day Gift To Jennifer Lopez

February 13, 2022 / Posted by:

Valentine’s Day is tomorrow and you know what that means…it’s time for Bennifer 1.0 to start stuntin’! Jennifer Lopez’s new film Marry Me is in theaters and to make sure people are aware of this mediocre event in filmmaking, JLo and Ben Affleck revealed Ben’s early Valentine’s present to his partner in papping. No, it wasn’t a $25 gift card to Dunkin’ Donuts. Ben created a personalized music video featuring pictures of the couple and set it to JLo’s new song “On My Way.” Nothing says true love like a PowerPoint slideshow!

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Michael B. Jordan Went Overboard For His First Valentine’s Day With Lori Harvey

February 16, 2021 / Posted by:

I wish I could say that title was a pun, and that Michael B. Jordan went full Overboard fantasy for Valentine’s Day, complete with an 80s yacht, lots of money, a sexy carpenter’s tool belt, jokes involving working with hard wood, and the implication that someone is about to get wet. That didn’t happen, but water and lots of money were involved. Michael B. Jordan wooed his girlfriend Lori Harvey with a very expensive trip to the aquarium and a hotel room full of flowers. And we know about this special, intimate date between the two of them because she Instagrammed every single moment.

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Open Post: Hosted By Shawn Mendes And Camila Cabello Getting Into Some Foot Fetish PDA For Valentine’s Day

February 15, 2021 / Posted by:

Camila Cabella and her boyfriend, Shawn Mendes have been at this PDA thing for a while. Coronavirus really put a damper on their ability to make out in public spaces and in front of the biggest window possible, but they still made it work for them with a couple of strolls. Since this was the first Valentine’s Day amid the throes of coronavirus, these two were obviously limited in ways to grab attention. But have no fear, they have really smart publicists are in love, and love makes you do crazy things. Like kiss feet. Or other stuff with feet… Feet are a thing for certain people, and to those people I say: Here’s Shawn Mendes kissing Camila Cabello’s foot.

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